Binxs20

Dreamer
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2005-05-22 01:38:25 (UTC)

Drama...

Well this week has sucked ass... no joke... wensday my
truck got stolen from jamie... a guy i thought i could
trust agian... but like everything you cant trust
anything... i learned that through my journy in life... no
matter how nice you are to people or how much you care or
give it never matters they will thrash your heart and soul
in the ground... people say im to nice and ya i am... so
where the fuck is my carma in the world... (ex) I have two
people living with me... britney and jordan... they are a
couple... who have been staying with me for 2 weeks or more
now... havent given me not one dollar... and god knows how
much ive given them... they help me clean ... ya thats
cool... but i pay everything... call me stupid but its not
like i dont know that already... Im so sick of trying... I
signed up for college BECAUSE my parents said they wanted
me to ... and bitched at me everytime for it... yesterday i
asked my dad to take me to the first day oriantation (shut
up i cant spell) and he said i had to clean my house... the
house i live in... not his house mine... so i said okay and
i did... well last night i called to confirm that he was
going to come and get me the next morning... he said did u
clean i said no... just to see what he would do.. he then
replied well that sucks guess you'll have to call a taxi...
cause i dont have a car it got stolen... well i hung up..
the next day i thought he would call and come get me
NOPE!!! my roomates or friends that are staying with me
did .... only because britney called in to work.. THANKS
DAD.. Nothing i do pleases anyone... god i want to run
away... but i cant... feel like im locked up all over
again... in a twisted maze that i cant get out of.. no one
understands why the little things hurt me so bad... i
understand and i guess thats all that matters.. why do i
try any more... WHY... and now that i have no car.. and im
broke... none of my friends want to come see me... only
luke... he has shown me that there are some people out
there that care for others just cause there them... nothing
more or less.. he is a wonderful person.. and has an
amazing heart... but like me has a wall like china... but
he is there for me... i dont like telling him all the shit
that goes on in my life cause who wants to hear that...
well i guess id raise my hand to that cause i do... i
listen to everyones problems... fuck i should be getting
paid for it... but no matter what i do for others i end up
the bad guy.. cause i butted in.. yet they brought it to my
doorstep... AHHHHHHHH!!! I dont know how much more i can
take.. i already cut the other day... ya cant believe i did
it.. i feel like im in a spinning room with people
screaming at me... and there is no where i can run.. god i
want to run... runaway and never come back... not like
anyone would miss me... and no im not saying that for
sympathy... im saying that cause i know its true... cant
make them happy so why stay... -Andrea- 5-21-5


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