just 1 of many
2005-05-19 20:47:01 (UTC)

dont wana b alone!

i dunoy im feelin low atm! iv jus tryed 2 b in a reli
random an happy mood but it aint waorkin! i duno y tho! i
dont wana feel lo! so im tryin not 2 but i jus fel so
drained an bein happy is hard work! its kinda like im
pushin sumfin 2 the back of my hed but i duno wot! maybe
its jus wiv leavein an exams an utha stuf...i duno!

blergh! i duno y i feel low!! argh its anoyin me now!!! y
cant i jus fukin b happy!!! argh! i reli am
tryin!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!! now im gettin angery!!!! but
i havnt got the energy!! maybe im jus tired but i havnt
missed any sleep!

i wana go bk 2 skool! :( im reli not redi 2 leave! i need
2 b around them all! i had jus started 2 make the most of
it! even tho i did feel shit under the smile but it mite
av got beta! it needed time an iv run out!!

anutha thing thats bin buggin me is that iv bin panicin an
worying bout everyfin recently! i always worried more then
most ppl (an more than ppl new) but neva this bad! its
bout stupid things reli a im sure its jus in my hed but i
duno i jus worry bout everyfin!

i need a hug! i wana b at skool! i jus need ppl!!!!!

an i dont wana end up alone...i mean like wivout a bf...i
duno y cos it neva reli bothered me b4 but i want sumfin
real! most of my m8s hav had a decent relationship at
skool an hav bin all cute an hggy an kissy but i neva had
that reli...i had daz, that was probly the best
relationship i eva had an it was shit! it was fucked up
but i was reli happy! i reli hav neva bin that happy in a
relationship! an it was onli a reli short 1 but it reli
did seem like a long time! i dont wana et bak wiv him or
nefin lol an im sure he wudnt av me lol but i jus want
sumfin like that! but wivout the shit bits of course! lol
i duno im jus ramblein!

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