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2005-05-17 21:53:20 (UTC)


I forgot to mention something that happened this weekend. I
asked my husband what changed his mind about our marriage.
He said he just came to his senses. I said it wasn't
something that was said or done by me or anyone else that
made you realize? He said no. He just realized that he made
a mistake. I don't know why but I have a hard time
believing him. I still think that maybe susie rejected him.
He still won't tell me what they dicussed. He says it's
because all it will do is hurt me. Well maybe I need to be
hurt. I need to know. Even if he would tell me I think he
wouldn't tell me the whole truth. He never told me that he
was worried about loosing her, but he also refered to her
as his best friend. Nothing more. I read that in his blog.
It wasn't too long after that he decided to come back to
me. I did notice that she didn't know right away because
she was still commenting on his blog after we got back
together. I just wish I knew exactly what was going on.
I've thought about getting in contact with her but I'm
afraid that my husband would find out. I guess I will never
know and have to live with it for the rest of my life. I've
decided that when I start to work part-time that I will ask
my husband not to get back on the game or IM those girls
when I'm not around. I know it's childish but I can't help
it. If I don't let him how I feel he'll think it's ok. I
wish he didn't need them. If they were guys it would be
different. I talk to girls online and I'm fine if I never
talk to men. Why can't he be that way? I just feel like
he's looking for someone else. I just pray that he's being
sincere and telling me the truth. I love him. I just hope
he love me the same. Now and forever.

I got my daughter a latch hook rug the other day and showed
her how to do it. She picked up on it real quick. I think
she likes it alot. I guess I finally found something she
likes. I have a feeling she will be alot like her mommy,
which scares me. lol

Well I find out what the baby is tomorrow. I'm really
excited now. My husband and I are only going to work half a
day and spend the day together. I'm looking forward to
that. I just hope he's in a good mood. I know I will try to
be. It really depends on how he acts. I hope and pray this
baby is a boy. Like I said before. I think it would do my
husband alot of good to have a son. Please, Lord, please
let this baby be a boy. Let my husband get better soon and
learn to accept what life has given him. Amen.

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