Amnesia

Getting uncomfortable...

After Tim and I went prospecting, I started doing some more
of that with other people like Lisa, Lee, Refie, and even
myself. This got good results. I got 2 recruits that week,
even though I only had about 15 invites. They both dropped
by now. Losers. One of them was Jo. Believe it or not, I
still miss him. I know he's got a great personality, but it
is wrapped in a bunch of negatives. Downs in his life,
negative atmosphere, and probably being surrounded by
things and people that stomp on his dreams.

I just came back from lunch with this one guy. He works in
this school, no, not a teacher. I'm not attracted to this
guy, and I invited him in the office for Monday. So that's
two invites for today. Still not good enough though. Tim
gave me pointers how to adjust people to my schedule, and
how to keep in authority. I hope I can do it.

I've noticed that they're all right. I've got no fear. I do
get nervous though. When I was out with this guy, I was
nervous, when I am talking to people, I'm nervous, on
appointments, on the phone, practically whenever I'm
getting something done, whenever I'm venturing into the
new, whenever progress is being accomplished, then I am
nervous. I understand that now.

I still miss Jo. I know that somewhere out there is a
better guy, who fills most of his voids, and then some, but
I haven't found him yet. So until then, I'll keep moping. I
did actually learn something from him. Believe it or not.
That is to always keep smiling. Find good in something.
Genuine goodness, and people will be nice, whoever you're
with is going to smile to,and you're going to have a great
time. This I will apply to my business as well, and
especially prospecting. Just keep smiling. (Maybe that and
to wear a skirt.)
Whenever he smiled, I smiled. I felt his joy, and it
reflected in me. I don't remember what he was talking about
but I remember him smiling, and I remember that I did the
same. It felt good, I remember that as well. That and his
kiss. The way he gets passionate about that, and telling a
worth while story. Wish he would still be my friend. I'd
like that still. We would keep each other happy, when
things go bad. I'd like to do that for someone... Keep him
happy. Oh well, guess I'll go to the bar

I started another journal. This is going to be a color pen
sketch book. I bought the pens, I bought the book, now I
just need to start doing stuff, like drawing in it.

Finally rented Queen of the Damned. Reading it. Want to
start another journal. A photo album with the pictures of
people I've met, that I think, at the moment would play a
good character, along with a description of their talents
maybe, a number, or address that I can always find them at
even 5 years down the line. E.t.c...

I am apparently failing English. Although I got the highest
score you can get on the exit exam, I am still failing
English. So I missed a couple of assignments, so what, I
get it. The teacher allowed me to make up like 10 pages
worth of assignments. I refused to write a resume and cover
letter, since I'll never in hell need it, so she
substituted that for a 5 page paper on the experiance of
being at Wright. Woohoo. laterz!!!