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2005-05-16 19:57:09 (UTC)

end of an eira

study leave is started, as i sed b4, an its ok so
far...its the end of sumfin but also the start of sumfin
else :)...sure im sad bout it all, well very sad! lol but
im guna b ok cos i gota du this an i need a new start, its
guna b gud 4 me, im guna b wiv kirsty an sophie an i will
b jus askin them to not mention my past lol cos its a new
start an i can be any1 i wana be now! obviously im not
guna lie my ass off an make shit up lol but im can jus
clean my slate an ppl dont av 2 no nefin i dont an them 2!
im guna miss every1 but i will make nu mates a keep in
touch wiv the uthas 2, specialy erin, hana, zara, kelly,
an shell...ther r ppl i duno if i will c that much, like
tom, andy, murph, ama an ppl like that...i wish i cud kep
in ouch wiv them all but i no its guna be hard!...i got
msn tho! lol

well i was thinkin alot las nite, i felt reli down an shit
an cudnt think y...i duno if that makes sense 2 any1 but
oh well...well i jus fort this is stupid an clamed my self
down, i jus sat in bed a fort bout it. its the 1st time i
av fell asleep in ages wivout avin 2 listen 2 music 1st!
lol i rote it all down, it wasnt loads but jus it helped
cos utha wise i will 4get lol ther were onli a few things
bummin me out reli an i tryed 2 think it all thru till i
felt abit beta bu then i fell asleep lol, but i did feel
beta in the mornin! i saw mishel 2day as well an told her
sum stuff, i told hana sum stuf on satday 2 an i feel beta
that i no i can talk 2 them. sum of it was hard 2 tell ppl
cos iv not told any1 this thing that happends aaaaaaages
ago (well 2 things) an now its not reli out in the open
but i no ther r ppl i can talk 2 about them. i was tellin
shel sumit 2day bout family stuf an i cudnt even luk at
her, i cudnt reli hear myself i was jus seyin, ive kinda
wanted 2 tell sum1 bout it 4 ages jus 2 get it off my
(this isnt nefin serious by te way, well not anymore, it
jus reli hurt me an its in the past now but i mneva told
any1 at the time) i had told sum1 so many times in my
head...if that makes sense, i wud jus sey it in my head as
if i was tellin sum1 in the hope that i wud feel beter
bout it...that sounds wierd lol oh well i supose it is!
lol its kinda my way of thinkin things thru, thinkin of
wot ppl wud sey 2 make me feel beter an i dotn acualy hav
2 tell any1 lol

well i supose i shud go lol that was jus aloada crap that
kinda jus fel outa my mind 2 the page sorri if it dusnt
make sense (i cant reli type 2day eitha! lol)

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