Goodnight, Starlight.

Michele
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2005-05-15 18:10:04 (UTC)

May 15th

this wont be a long entry i hope. i have to go bag up news
papers soon.

so anyway, lots have changed since my last entry (march).
this time theyve changed for good. jake and i no longer
speak, blocked and deleted. its been a few weeks. so its
for good. it feels so nice not having him in my life, you
know? ive been much happier without his agony on my
shoulders. i know, you may think i am over-reacting, but
you have no clue what ive gone through with that kid, and
i blocked and deleted greg as well. havnt talked to him in
ages. i just hate them both, greg always made me feel bad,
bad about myself and bad for him. so llow. i dont need it.
im more happy now. anyway

pauls coming down. june 10th. im excited. i have a few
things planned. nothing MAJOR. just 24 marathon, non stop
3 seasons, shopping, touring, harbour hopper i hope, PEI,
getting up at 4am for a walk and watch the sun rise, and
prom. should be nice. sense i know he doesnt read this, i
dont even think he knows i have one, ill post how i feel
about everything. im jealous of him and nic. everytime i
read his blog on msn, i feel this pit of the stomach
weirdness because he always says things about nic, how
much he misses her, how much he wants to hold her, how
much just everything. kendra thinks its not because i like
him that way, its because i care about him so much, i just
hate seeing it this way. i remember when he thought things
were goin good with jen, i got jealous then too. but the
things didnt work out. i mean like.. i dont want to be
with him, yet i care so much for him, that i want him to
be happy, but i wish he wasnt with anyone. dont get me
wrong, nic is amazing, she is so cool. i just dont know
what im trying to say. its all mumbo jumbo.

so liam and i got 'married' on friday. pauls my dad in
law, which is weird. because i used to have a HUGE crush
on him. and now hes like my dad, heh. kendra and liam are
having an affair which stinks (like poo). :( hanyway, i
must be off. im thirsty and i need to bag papers.

lots of looove., michelee. mackiee 3 xox.

20 1/2 days till Montreal, Ottawa and Quebec City, and 25
days till Paul arrives. happy me.


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