Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
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Ezoic
2005-05-15 16:31:44 (UTC)

He is my pet, I call him Marvin.

I was out working in the 'garden' if you could call
it 'work' or even a 'garden'.
Sunny brought me some flowers, I think that's sweet. He
helped me wih my garden work, and then we played with the
hose for a bit, it was funfunfun.
Im suposed to be cleaning my room. Im so tired now. I wish
I had magic powers, so that everything just flew into its
rightful place.
I found a lot of stuff from the seventh grade. That was
one of the best years of my life.
I found some letters, and notes, and a lot of things I
took for granted, but now seem like treasures. Camp Plast
photos, birthday cards, love letters, papers, notes,
detention slips (teehee, and a lot more fun stuff I would
have discarded at the time.
I found a love letter from Brennan, weird.
Years seem to go by like minutes, I try to live every day
like its my last, and not take anything or everything for
granted. It will all be gone some day, and I should at
least have pieces of paper, and video-like memories to
look back on when everything is ripped apart and worm to
dust.
I have the moments to look back on with people who are ...
worn to dust as well, in a sense. Dem ... Kade ... I love
you guys.
*sigh* Kevin isnt back yet. He would have called me by
now, but I guess Im online ... He would have swung by by
now! I saw Sunny today, we had a blast.
He's a really sweet guy, kind of shy and quiet, but really
funny too, and cute. He's got a lot going for him, why is
he spending time with me?
No one knows what they're getting into, getting involved
in my life, and I'm sure they all must regret it. Once
they get involved, they get over welmed. Sure, I have fun,
but every now and then, I know I must be a handful.
Im also getting kind of anxious, I dont really know why.
Nik hasnt spoken to me since friday night. I guess I worry
too much, Im such a needy puppy. I dont mean to be ... but
what if he found someone better then me? I know theres
loads of people better then me out there. I fear that he
may have came across someone. But then I hate myself for
not being as trusting as I should. I should be better to
him, he deserves it. But I dont know what else to do. I
havent talked to him ... I should give him his space, and
not be so suffocating, but I waaaannnnttt him.
I think Ill cover my hand completely in electrical tape.
That should amuse me for now. Whoo hoo.


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