-karma's payback-

-the good times are killing me-
2005-05-14 19:51:41 (UTC)

-the search for seclusion-

the last time i felt this way everything fell apart...
nobody told me that life would be this fucking hard...
and i feel so much hatred for those that i love so much...
i wasn't ready for this but you didn't give a fuck...
i was left here with nothing but a name to call my own...
i'm a faceless mother fucker...made out of stone..!
because my hearts been ripped and torn since the day that
iw as born...
since the day that i was stranded here empty and alone...
i try so hard to stay inside of my skin...
but you wouldn't believe how fucking hard that is..!

you'll have to excuse me...but this is all very new to
me...
i don't have very much experience with human beings...
and i don't think that i can take this on an everyday
basis...
my self esteem is so damn low that it's below me...
and it hurts me to say this but nothing is painless...
everything that i believed was a lie...
what's up with my feelings..?
they've all fucking gone away...
why do i care if i'm empty inside..?

here i am,i'm still living in my own shell...
don't give a shit about anythong else...
the only thing i'm truly grateful for...
is the ability to constantly pollute myself to keep from
getting bored...
the only reason i've stayed is because i've been afraid...
too afraid to put a bullet in my fucking brain..!

why the hell am i here..?
this isn't where i fucking belong...
don't know why you felt the fucking need to drag me
along...
i didn't ask you for a god damned thing...
i never wanted this life but it was given to me anyway...
now i'm supposed to give thanks for something that i hate
so much..?
what the fuck..?
i'm no ones chump...
thanks for nothing..!


-doni-
-4-28-02-





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