Lost_cold_alone

Flying on broken wings
2005-05-13 23:34:26 (UTC)

paper

Dear diary,

The Instructor said,
"Go home and write"
"A page tonight"
"And let that page come out of you"
"Then, it will be true"


Looking at this on my test, I thought that it would be
easy... Yet now here I sit, and nothing come to mind. My
name is Angela, I live in Texas. I speak with my English
accent still, even though I look Asian, or Spanish.

I love to read, and yet when I do I end up in different
worlds. My mind wonders around, for even though I am doing
one thing... There is so much more to see than what is just
in front of us.

I thought this would be easy... to sit down and write three
pages. To write them of myself... yet here I find it hard.
For I am not just anyone, I am someone special. Though I
can not find it in my heart to tell it. I might complain,
yet if I am around people I tend to fear, that all my hopes
and dreams will be taken from me. Though in my heart, I
truly wouldn't care... for the people around me are what
mean the most to me. My friends are my life, they are my
strenght.. and friends don't have to be people I have known
for a long time... No, a friend is someone that will make
time for you, and give you one of the greatest gifts in all
of the world! A simple smile, to see, to even get one of
those in a lifetime would make me happy. I have, and I get
them everyday, thus why I am so thankful.

Amber, and many more... I felt like I had lost them at some
point. For finding out the truth about them, finding out
that they had someone else in their lives. Yet now I look
back on it and see that I didn't lose anything, I gained
things. I might live my life alone, but that is the way
that will fit me best. I have people to take care of, and I
will have children, even if it means adopting. I want to be
a mother someday, but not with someone that means more to
as a friend... Love, if your not carful, then you will and
can get hurt from it. I have many a time, though I care not
now. Though there has only been one time where I was truly
hurt. His name (the name has been changed) is Mat, when I
was in the sith grade, I was new to the states. I thought
everything was so out of place, and people were in such odd
clothes. I laughed a little now and then between my silence
at the cowboys walking down the hall ways in their tight
pants and hats. It was a nice change in setting though, but
then I bumped into him. That was our first meeting, he was
different I thought. Though everything he was telling me, I
would late find out, to be nothing but lies. After about
three months of being close friends, he asked me out. I was
so happy, he was the only person that I felt like I could
talk with. Though not long, maybe even a week later he ran
away. No one knew where he was, and the last thing he told
me was that he was going to get hit for his grades. I told
him he could home with me, but he just said no... I thought
he had gone to class for the bell had rung. I should have
taken him to calss myself, but I was already late... It was
my fault, he was gone. The next day he was still missing,
and his sister and I were called down to the A.P's. I was
crying now, and I had been all day. People were saying that
he was dead, I just tried to ignore them. Once down there I
held my breath, hoping... but there was nothing. The next
day after that we had a nock on our door, I ran down
crying. I prayed that it was him, but it wasn't, it was the
police. He asked us if we knew anything, and they kept
asking questions. I just stood there crying and answering.
It was all that I felt I could do, then he left. After that
I felt so empty, and the rumors were staring to get to me.
Then I was called down to the A.P's again, I wanted to cry,
but after all this time, I had no more tears to spear.
Sitting there I waited with ( Real name )Sam, his sister.
We hugged each other, I was such a baby, I couldn't dare
answer another question... It was just to hard. Then they
came into the room. My A.P and him- I cried, running from
Sam's to him. But he just pushed me away, I feel down and
it was over. Sam took me away, and back to class, I didn't
speak the rest of the day. For the person that I had waited
for, didn't even want to know me.

This is me, I thought it was be hard, but it was easy. I
guess I just had to listen to my heart, maybe I have a
chance at a good grade with this, if not oh well. I spoke
the truth, and to me thats all that counts.

-Amy -6:34PM


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