kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2005-05-09 15:39:42 (UTC)

Without you, I am nothing. With you, I am something.

Done a lot of cleaning today. Really tires me a lot. I
don't know why I get so tired easily this days. However,
it's fun due to the fact that I did the cleaning with my
mum and sis. It's much more exciting doing cleaning with
other people than doing it alone.
Well, again today I couldn't get myself to sleep. But it's
okay as long as this thing won't affect my studies in
future.
Yesterday was obviously mother's day. Too bad, we need to
spent the mother's day at the grandparents. I always hated
the idea to visit the grandparents. One thing is that
there will be many people. The other thing is to face my
grandmother. I really hate her. She loves to say things
that she never knew about others. One time, she criticise
my mum for things she never did. I really hate that.
But one thing that really bothers me somehow is the fact
that my cousin is not talking to me. I hate it. She will
always be the one who will talk to me without fail.
However, yesterday I saw a different girl. A girl that
never wants to discuss things with me. I felt odd in a way
but what could I do. I too have feelings. I felt very
lonely at that point of time.
According to my mum, she might be jealous of me due to the
fact that I've got my academics right and my character
somehow please her mum. If that really what it is, I hope
that she realise this. The fact that she's rich and I
having a family's financial crisis. Another thing is that
the fact she always got a shoulder to lend to her. If not
in bad times, at least at good times. As for me, I lack in
both times. Only god knows how lonely I sometime felt.
The fact that many people loves her whereas I don't
possess that good fortune to be loved by many parties.
I am always end up being hated for things I done or did
not do.
If her mother really wants to know why I am like this and
she's damn please with me... Well, thank you but hey, I
telling you that your daughter is well better than me in
many ways.
Even so, I shall never be proud of the praises given to me
by people. It's all thanks to God that I am like this.
Even though sometimes how lonely I felt, I could feel that
He's always there for me no matter what.
That's why sometimes I felt touched, embarrassed, scared
and many more(that I could find no words to describe) all
in one, sometimes all at once. To God, I prayed that I
will never forget you and will forever obey your orders.
Without you, I am nothing. With you, I am something. Thank
God and all praises to God. Alhamdullilah!




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