Autum's Leaves
2005-05-08 20:32:13 (UTC)

How I was Bitten in the Ass

I have this feeling that everytime I do something, it
always comes back to haunt me.

This is how I was bitten in the ass today.

After my...*shivers* romp that I only hope I can find
enough drugs to forget (haha) I told my ex about it,
because he has the right to know, especially since I'm
still sleeping with him.

The phone call was...well, it was not happy. I told him
and then I cried because I was so ashamed because I
dissapointed him...and I never thought that would ever
happen. He said I was better than that, that...*shakes
head* All these really nice things to be honest. It helped
in a way and in a way it hurt. It was nice to know he
cared about me, which I hadn't thought he really had...but
it hurt so bad to know I'd hurt him.

I was just stupid, I made a mistake, and one I won't
make again.

We all make mistakes...right?

It's strange not having any help with this. I feel
awful about it, and I wish I hadn't, but my friend who got
me into the system didn't really want to talk about it and
I can tell my ex isn't wanting to help that much. I know
it freaked him out...I just hope I don't lose him.

I just hope I don't lose my mind.