Jase

Enter My World...
2005-05-06 15:00:03 (UTC)

seperating myself from reality

i've just read soph's entries and i have even more cause for
concern. darrian's fucking with her head AGAIN. i'd love to
kill him. litereally..that's an awful thing to say, but if i
could get away with it, i would. the boy is just awful. he's
a creep. he's slowly manipulating soph's mind. he's doing it
in a cold, callas way. he knows what he's doing. he knows
how vulnearble she is. i'm gonna have to do something. i'll
have to talk to soph. i'll have to talk to mike..although,
wouldn't that be stirring shit? *sigh*

we're not going out for lm's 18th tonight, coz sare doesn't
have any money. and? she never has any money, so when has
that ever stopped her? anyway, she said she hurt her knee
because her/ben/lg went to the abbey (which is slightly odd)
and she had her high heels on..and she fell. lol. we're all
going out tomorrow night, which should be...nah, not
interesting. it'll be the same 'ol..

malia, crete in 62 days, i think. i can feel it's getting
closer. i had a wander up to PL II the other day & i just
sat and thought about it. it's gonna be the peak of
everything we've done together. it won't get ANY better. i
ain't gonna get in any moods or arguments on holiday because
there's just...no point. no point at all. i wanna enjoy my
last truly great time with them. ben, i really couldn't care
for. laila & charlotte...whatever. but lg & sara...they'll
be the ones who make it for me. the night before i'm gonna
go for a walk up near the cliff and reminisce about the past
year & a half i've spent with them. i'm gonna seperate
myself from reality for a while when they move to uni. i'm
gonna need time to adjust.

i've come to the conclusion that i'm an interesting person.
the only person who knows the real me is me,
which makes people suspicious, i think. especially lg. i
don't have many secrets, but the ones i do have effect lives
in many ways imaginable. i was gonna tell soph a couple of
months back, but i thought nah. it's not a "dark" secret, so
to say; just a secret what people wouldn't (in the
slightest) expect i'd have or keep. huh.

knux




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