JennyDeMarr

Maladjusted
2005-05-05 23:16:37 (UTC)

what was in our eyes

billy budd is stuck in my head. natalie and ali are my
friends and inna obviously isn't. but that was my deal,
not hers. haha, stupid bizatch, get what she deserves. i
did it. i returned to insanity yesterday, only for a brief
visit of course. maybe not so brief with the cutting. but
the eating, whenever i'm around other people i just eat,
for some kind of appearance thing... what did i even eat
yesterday? excluding the binge of course, i had a cheese
sandwich with tomatos and mustard and those french
fries... about 700 for the sandwich and... 300 for the
fries. just to make it an even thousand. not bad, but
nowhere near good. today has to be zero then. i won't even
go to the DC. comeplete utter lack of food. bwahahaha. or
maybe if they invite me i can have coffee or something...
though they may ask why i'm not having anything. so
assumming i end up at latenight, what am i allowed to
have? toast is good. with jam. yes. 200. thats not bad at
all. actually, not even, 80 plus 50 is..... *drumroll*
130. brilliant.

in other news... i dunno what to do about snooze. i can't
tell if she's mad at me or not and i have no way of
getting on msn mesenger to find out. ever since that night
with the austism... *rolls eyes*

have you ever had your heart reduced to ashes? whats that
supposed to mean? i'm waaaaay out of my depth here...
FUGAZI! korni and snooze are having it out in chit chat so
theres not any room for me anyways... why, why take away
the one fucking thing i have left to me. i woke up
miserable and i'm sure i'll fall asleep miserable too.




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