sunsyray

my squishy
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2005-05-04 20:21:28 (UTC)

First posting Wed

Work is always boring. I think I do maybe one hour of work
on average for every eight hour day. Some days I do no work
and other days I do something all day, but it averages more
towards the no work. You would suppose I would do something
more rewarding with my time, and I've tried that believe
me. I've tried reading online books, reading the news(which
I never do), looking up stuff, etc, and I'm even writing a
book based on a dream I had. But there's only so many
things I can think of to do on a computer for eight hours a
day every other day. Thank goodness I'm not working full
time. I think I'd go crazy.

Anyway, enough of my bitching. I guess I could say
something about myself. I am 21, a junior at York College
of PA, math major (I know, I know, ich math)((I DO like
math, thank you)). I'm that jerk who everyone hates cause I
study for a half hour before the test and get an A. I'm an
intern at York International, and I say, if you want to get
paid to sit on your ass all day long do apply. Eh, I like
it here. Nice people, I've learned alot about stuff, but
sometimes it's a bit tedius. Anyway, back to me. I also
like reading sci-fi/fantasy novels, I quilt, I'm into
astronomy, and I want to get into kayaking. I love
paintball, who wouldn't want to run around in the woods
with friends shooting at eachother? I have a wonderful
relationship with my boyfriend, Adam, and he's introduced
me to a lot of interesting things, from paintball to anime
to video games(yes, I've been corrupted). We are that
couple everyone hates cause our relationship is perfect.
But you could have that too if you wanted. It seems to me
that people like having disfunctional relationships, or
else what would they have to bitch about? I dislike gossip,
and argueing for the sake of argueing, and complaining for
the sake of complaining.

Let's see... I can play field hockey(the only kind of
hockey)((yay big sticks)) and softball, though they make it
impossible here at York to play any sport at all. All my
math classes are only offered from 3-6pm it seems. I've
lived on a farm all my life, and my mom raises goats and
ducks. She also owns a personal care facility for the
elderly and mentally handicapped, but she's turning it into
an adult daycare center. More money in that. I miss her,
but I really enjoy being able to live my own life. She's
very controlling sometimes. Example being me going to
graduate school. What I really want to do is be a stay at
home mom. My mom wants me to go to grad school and spend
another five years of my life beyond undergrad to get my
PhD. Well, that would be dandy if I was going to be a
career mom, but I just don't want to do that. I've also
been considering homeschooling my kids. I disagree with a
lot of what the school system does to kids. And since I'm
not doing this to shelter my kids from the world, they can
get the great education I can provide them and go out and
be in scouts and sports and clubs and be social beings.

It's funny how your life can change meaning so suddenly. It
was a pregnancy scare that did it for me. I have these
cysts on my ovaries, but the original symptoms made me
think "oh dear, I'm pregnant". Thankfully that wasn't the
case, but it put my life in perspective. I learned that I
definately want to dedicate my life to raising my kids.
Yeah, there's more to life than that, but that's going to
be my main purpose. I can have hobbies and such along with
that. And who knows, maybe I'll go back to school after
they're all grown. But you only get one life to live, only
one chance to raise your kids, and only one chance to make
that first choice. I'm just lucky I figured that out before
moving up to Boston or out to California and grueling
through years and years of graduate work.

Adam of course is more than supportive. He'll make an
excellent daddy, and I'd like to make it clear that I made
my choices independent of what he thought of it. He would
have gladly followed me whereever I wanted to go, be it
grad school or overseas. He's just amazing that way. And
when I explained that I wanted to be a stay at home mom he
thought that was a wonderful idea. I think he could tell it
was what I really wanted. Now the hard part... telling Mom.
She's definatley not going to like it. It was her dream to
go to grad school, but couldn't do it because she was a
single mom.

But anyway, that'll be all for today, more on friday I'm
sure


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