Play With Me
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2005-05-04 16:36:19 (UTC)

nothin really

Well, i think that i had somethin to write about
today, but fuckif i can remember it! Last night i kept
thinking about how devastated I would be if i lost Eric a
second time. I'll see him today and get to talk to him.
Um...i started riding to skool wid Ashley Bullard and
therefore get to chill in tha parking lot wid Bobby for
like 25 minutes every morning.Well, my aunt came up here
today during 2nd block and gave me 10 dollars for my
birthday ( oh yea, Im 16 today ) and she told me that tha
other weekend when i stayed over there and then left to
Danielle's, mama called over there and told her that we
were going to Florida and did i mention anything to her
about not wanting to go because i told her and kenny's
sister i did'nt want to and my aunt just told her that i
probably don't kno what i want to do yet, but it's all
good , and if mama does have an incriment of an idea about
our plan, it will make it that much easier when i bust tha
news to her. Aunt Yavonne said that she
would "unexpectedly" drop by Saturday ( me and eric have
plans at tha skatin rink Friday ) and then i could just ask
to go with her. Which means i can start sneaking my stuff
over to her house. She said you havent changed your mind?
And i said no im even more sure now. I told her I had
looked for my social security card and birth certificate
but that i could not find it. I will continue looking tho.
Um....Matt, i willcall you Saturday sometime at my
cousin's where thay have a phone. Um...I can't really
think of anything alse to say except, oh yea. Im sick of
people in this town. And i don't give a damn what any mutha
fucker thinx about me, but now, i realize there is
something that I have to do. My daddy shot and killed
himself July 31 2003, right before my 9th grade year. I was
kind of stuck up back them, we were on top. My dad was THE
top roofer around here. " ray's Roffing and remodeling" W
WERE tha best and noone can deny it. The Best. Money out
tha ass, everything we wanted. Well, apparantly after he
died, we became shit. we h ave become nothing, horrid white
trash or somethin. in Richmond County, all that matters is
tha money. If we had tha money again, we'd be on top. Well,
people have apparantly been talking alot of shit. Noone
would treat us like they do now before. my daddy once told
me, fear shows respect. Everyone feared him. That's tha way
it was. Noone dared attempt to take advantage of us. Noone
talked shit about us. i will take that position. I will
make something of myself, just as he did, and be feared as
well as respected. then when i am, I can go back and tell
every one of these backstabbin two faced son of a bitches
what i really think of them, and there is nothing they can
do about it. Noone will take advantage of me and get away
with it. Ive always been with that, ex-friends, ex-
boyfriends, if they fuck me over i fuck them over worse.
Always has been that way, always will. So i predict i will
not be leaving Richmond County very soon. Because I have
too many muthafuckers to stand up. ***TOY***

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