Reyoko

Crystal Leopard
2005-05-02 13:02:11 (UTC)

Ho Sue Ann Mania

Dear D,

You know, a lot of things have happen these pass few days.
My heart aches as every minute pass me by in this cursed
world. It's not because of my parents, or even because of
school. It's one of my seniors....

She's 16 years old and in Form 4. She's really nice and
has
this great smile. Ho Sue Ann's her name. She was my
recruits NCO for St. John. You know, at first when I first
met her, I kindda felt this aura of coolness around her.
But it wasn't like the one I could feel whenever I'm with
Shreen. No... it was really different.

Most of my friends in the begining of the year always
thought she was you know, mean and strict. But... I felt a
bit differenly. Okay, so I also tough she was strict, but
I
had always known that St. John was good on their displin.

But whenever, I'm around Sue Ann, it... it scares me. I've
always said, every since I was seven, that I've always
hated boys. And ever since then I've never like-like a
REAL
boy, ever! Sure, I may like the boys in my anime, but
there
was always one thing they all had in command. And it just
accroed to me a few weeks ago. How stupid is that?

It's that, they all look like girls. Besides, I act like a
boy, I walk like a boy, I sound sometimes like a boy, and
I
even dress like a boy, outside of school.

My friends are all now saying that I'm a lesbian!! At
first
I didn't care, but... now... now that I think about it,
I've never liked any guy, and I always like girl, okay
maybe not in THAT way but still...

With my friends it's not so bad, but whenever I even just
see Sue Ann, it scares me. Because I know, no matter how
much I love her, or care for her, we can never be
together.

Whenever she walks by, I watch her present, until I can
not
see her anymore. I can't stop it, my feelings. When my
friends say bad things about her, I get exteremly mad, and
I'll always try to find ways to see her beautiful face.

Now that I think abouit, I always like guys who look like
girl, but is not sissy and is quite strong. And Sue Ann is
just like that. Though, she's a girl who LOOKS like a guy.

I don't know what's going on. But I know this, I can't
stop
my feelings for Sue Ann, no matter what I do. I just can't
stop thinking about her. I'll try not to show it too much
in front of my friends, but... I'm not promising anything.




Ad: