daddy's little time bomb
2005-04-27 21:46:39 (UTC)


my best friends best friend.....April18, 05

he finds comfort in silence
as he hides in the shadows.
tucked deep in the corners
where your eyes never travel
the sobs and weeping
draw you in closer
you have no idea
what you're instore for
he gives you things you dare not touch
quiet to hear and whispers too much
but his eyes lay deep and dark like the night
makes you tremble with fear and wonder whats right
his words so soft. like they've never been spoken
your love grows strong. a heart never broken
he mends your cuts and dries your eyes
but covers you up in a blanket of lies.
did he ever really care?
about the girl in the mirror?
or did he recognize the man
pasted in the rear veiw mirror
is he a lie to you, or to himself?
is he leading you on?
or in need of a way out?

The Never Ending Story ...April 06, 05

the never ending story ended yesterday
and it ended in a way....that i shall share today
firetrucks and ambulances circling the streets
worrying the neighbors and making children peek
animals of all sorts were stirring up such noise
women in town were screaming,ones once with such poise
daddys cell disconnected while he talked with his mistress
i sent a letter yesterday. i really hope you get this
fire went up huge downtown early this morning
the news gave us time to leave. said take it as a warnng
mommy packed up most our things and away she drove so fast
imagining like old times we were the crew looking up at the
as waves came crashing new york city. we left home just in
we have no where to go and no where is safe. but mommys
says we'll be fine
so i sit back and close my eyes. dreaming of months ago
about the never ending story.
well it ended today, ya know?

This Letters In The Mail....March, 27, 05

hang up when i answer.
dont let me here your voice.
dont breath to heavily
you might give it all away
you might let me know its you waisting my time
and always apologizing for something you do over
and i just want to know what your heart feels like
when im holding it in my hands
and i beg just to drop it
on the broken glass from the window you snuck through
on that broken glass i bleed upon
but if i ever held that pulsating heart.
id never let it go, id hold it too tight
just like i had done before
then you'd leave me again teary eyed and broken hearted
let me just ask whos hearts in your pocket
does it belong to me?
is my name written in sloppy cursive upon the bottom?
can i please just have it back
maybe just a little for now.
just enough to keep me living throughout this winter
this winters colder than it used to be
an internal wind
an eternety of snow flakes drifting through the wholes
the wholes in my eyes
and i could write forever and cry just a little more
and this could be a blood stained letter
deliverd to your door

Feelings Of A Rock Star...March, 15, 05

beauty lies within the beholder
catch it while you can
hold it for just a moment.
feel the coolness in the sand
run it through your fingers
and wish upon that star
emptiness in our stomachs
our dreams seem all too far.
and hold me close for once
so i wont have to feel alone.
whisper in my ears
so i can memorize your tone

its not skipping. its repeating....February 15, 05

shut up and listen
while i scream out my eyes
turn away
until i am satisfied
hold my hand
ill squeeze too tight
turn it purple
and giggle in delight

shut up and cry
while i break your heart
stand real still
while i tear it apart
ill hold you close
and tell you i care
im lying to you
it seems so unfair

shut up and leave
while i open the door
hurry up now
i just don't care anymore
run away
from this face you see
these feelings you have.....
have happened to me

But The Medicine Cabnets Empty Now.....JAnuary,26,05

infected by addiction
blood seeping from my pores
syncronizing heartbreak
pills spilled upon the floor
and i am never leaving
the door has disapeared
sipping up the alcohol
overdocing tears
addiction creeps up in my veins
reminds me that its there
im cutting up my skin.
you only act as though you care
and no one really knows
just how they make me feel
i crawl upon the floor
i need borrowed time to heal

Letters in a High School Locker....Januar,12, 05

the corner so vacant, should i sit there?
it seems so perfect, a good place to stare
i wonder if myself would be company enough
to sit, think, and cry about stuff
the love we had, i hold on to
i remember the memories
and the things we'd do
this letter i write, you'll never receive
the last remains, will you even greive?
the corner so vacant, i could use a rest
feeling so busy and being so stressed
lonely i am, but theres only room for one
i'd ask for you back, but whats done is done
the things we shared, i'll try to let go
i love you dear i just thought you should know

Between The Blankets and The Sheets....January,10,05

sweet dreams my love ill tuck you in
I'll hold you close I'll suck you in
wrap up your heart, a chain so tight
steal your soul, and turn out the light
You're crying dear. Am I your tears?
You seem so broken I've become your fears?
If you were alone would it be worse?
im laughing now, you caught my curse
please cut your wrists, die in love
i sent this here, my poisonous dove
wonder outloud, is this worth even it
your hand in mine it fits so perfect
remind me now why i hurt this way
tell me now, there is a new day
these tears are black, my words are broken
this love i have seems softspoken

Despite this love letter....Tuesday, January 04, 2005

despite this love letter
i hate you
and the words i write upon this page
are all so carefully stitched
i bleed for you, not knowing why
i cut up my eyes,
its too hard to hide
and im not sure if what im feeling
is even worth it at all
i think it's called ashamed
but no one can be too sure
and you were never sure
when you whispered in my ear
the words "i love you"
though it was so quiet
it seemed to scream aloud in my heart
it shook me
and it made me fall to the floor
where i so hopelessly bled
and my bruises are so visible
though they were made on the inside,
my eyes are so terribly black
and my heart so terribly broken,
no one knows this feeling
becuz they never sqeezed you tight,
i wont ever let go,
and im living my life for you
this scene of my death
is to make you laugh,
i dont want you to feel this way
because then you would take your own heart
and throw it on the ground,
because what you did to me
makes the gates of hell disgusted
but i still care
and with my last breath
i will whisper the words "i love you"
and it will seem so quiet
until it hits your heart where it will scream

Lovely, The receiver is dead...., December 19, 2004

i bled my feelings upon this page
this is all of me
i will sacrafice
i stitch my open wounds
to hide this unbearable pain
as i just let you crawl deep
deep into my shattered heart
swallowed fragments of glass and rock
swim amongst these tears
hold yourself in the shadows
the shadows of our last memories
as you drown me before i can swim
you never taught me how to fight
against this thing called love
and now that it's been taken
my bloodshot eyes grow black
as if walking upon infected needles
piercing my swollen heart
you cradle my dying soul
as it passes to the unknown
you lay there crying
as you let go of my hand
the hand you loved
that held your heart
i died in your shaking arms
i saved a place to keep you warm
as the night grows dark and cold

Cemetery gate, December 19, 2004

when the darkness sets upon cemetary gate
the sorrow seems all too strong
the dead and awake await their fate
as the snow blows memories along

i poke at the wounds that bled today
as i unstitch the seams that were sewn
the presence seems near but you're far away
rip out the stitches, there's nothing i own

they come out crying, left alone dying
as their black tears begin to burn
i must leave, i must start trying
begin to run, not knowing where to turn

and when darkness sets upon the cemetery gate
they fill the street for what awaits
i tried to forget it, but i was too late
a ghost to determine their only fate

Uneasy Moments Are Shaped into a Smile.December 19, 2004

through all of the shadows, a bright shining light
so thankful and greatful, for freeing the night
feeling so lonely... now company comes
this blistful moment, now followed with love
from chaines and barriors, holding me down
i sit upon a throne, im the one in the crown
i dont know the words, to describe what im thinking
but he saved me from the ocean, upon which i was sinking.

The Form of avalanches. October 31, 2004

my eyes bleed black
souls disappear into their own shadows as the world
i fall in to arms of a demon as i look into your eyes
storms fill the sky and u were washed away
i cry aloud but it only hurts me more
. my heart turns dry as i crumble into a million little
they pick me up and mourn over my nothingness
save me from my sleep that i know i cannot awake from
my mouth is stitched shut by your excruciating words
free me from this prison of thought
u have no more power than the demon who carried me away
as i lay floating on its wings
should i fall into its heart dying in its bitterness

Swing Sets And Tear Drops. October 31, 2004

the love you have for me carries me away
i dont know what to think of you today
you slip the love note into my hand
as it burns a hole right threw me
i tried so hard to hide the pain
as i let everything go, i loved you in vein
trust that i am one mistake
its not loving me if you're only fake
kiss my lips so i wont pull away
i dont know what to think of you today

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