I find you work order offensive sir!
so i went to get our sanyo dvd player fixed. for some
reason sanyo has this bonus feature where it LOCKS the
fucking dvd tray if you hold the eject button down for an
extended period of time. what a brilliant little feature,
hey with the next one, why don't have a button that
unleashes a band of drunk chimps loose in your apartment who
proceed to destroy everything in site and bite off everyone
of your god damn fingers. i tried everything on the website
and tech support; the usual stuff of, hold the eject button
down another 5 seconds, un-plug it, leave it unplugged for
24 hours, leave it unplugged until you give birth to your
first born, etc. etc. nothing worked, so i finally had to
do what i dread more than anything in the world.
send in a work order.
not only that but the sanyo dweeb told me i had to go
through my place of purchase.........meaning, walmart. as i
moved towards the customer service desk i already saw a
major problem, a surly, embittered woman wasting away her
weaning years in a job she didn't care about and understood
even less of. she greeted me with a sneer and i knew i was
in for a time.
"i'd like to fill out a work order."
"you got a receipt? we don't do returns without receipts."
"i'm not doing a return i'm getting it repaired."
"we don't do repairs, only returns and refunds."
behind her was a large sign saying, exchanges, refunds, and
repairs, we're willing to satisfy our customers. she didn't
look like she was into satisfying shit.
"i just want to fill out a work order, i spoke with the
sanyo customer service and they said i have to send it
"you spoke to who?"
she asked this in a way that hinted towards her being deeply
offended, as if i had already gone past her and to her
"sanyo customer support."
"he work at this store?"
holy christ, i can't believe it.
"NO! i talked to the manufactorer and he said that i will
have to fill out a work order, a dvd is stuck in the player
and the tray won't eject!"
"well we can exchange it for the same one, but only if you
get me the receipt."
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a very famous quote came to my
mind at that moment,
"never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their
level and beat you with experience."
i was now at her level. i was getting pissed and what made
it worse was that she was being so downright mean to me, as
if i were pissing her off just by standing at the counter.
i was getting that damn dvd out of there if i had to smash
it over her head, if i'm going to have to reimburse my dvd
club for a video it sure as hell won't be gargoyles, the
complete first season. she mustered an exasperated sigh and,
pushing the dvd player towards me, said,
"LOOK. come back with the receipt, the return policy is
she was going into the condescending slow talk that you do
to crazy people or children, at that moment i figured out an
escape from this inoculating conversation, a guy from the
tech department, who looked like he was at least knew his
ass from his elbow happened to walk by,
"can i get a work order for this dvd player?"
"sure! no problem, just come back to the cd section with me,
i have a customer there."
at this the lady at the service counter went livid, i don't
know if it was because she had been cut off or because i had
actually been abel to find help, but she went off,
"LOOK, you coulda just went to the dvd department insteada
wastin' my time!!! you shoulda known i wouldn'ta been able
to help you!!!"
i'm assuming that was a euphemism for,
"you should have known that i'm a card-carrying dipshit."
so i followed the helpful guy to the tech department when he
put the dvd player in front of him and said,
"hm. you say it won't eject?"
"i've seen this before."
he put it down on some boxes and plugged it in, hit the
eject buttonm and out came my dvd!
yay for walmart tech guys!