reeses24rc

my diary
2005-04-21 02:03:48 (UTC)

three weeks left

I can’t believe there are only three weeks of school left,
three weeks until I am finished with my junior year, three
weeks until I can officially call myself a senior, three
weeks until I have to say good-bye. I’ve never been good
at good-byes, ask any of my friends back home who happened
to be witness to my emotional breakdowns around graduation
time. I can’t help it, saying good-bye is really hard and
I suppose we all have our own way of dealing with it.

For many, they have that mentality that it’s not good-bye
it’s see ya later. But that later turns into months,
years, and sometimes it really was a good-bye. Depressing
perhaps to look at life in that way, but the truth is,
that so many people will come into your life who will
touch you, and after that you’ll never see them again,
maybe never speak to them again. It’s crushing to me to
think that so many of these people that I’ve spent so much
time with in the last few months will soon only be
pictures in a scrapbook full of memories. And as are most
things in life, it’s simply beyond my control, but it
still leaves me with this emptiness in the pit of my
stomach.

It’s the emptiness you have when you know something is
about to end, it’s the same emptiness I felt in the last
weeks of summer before leaving for college. It’s the
feeling that this chapter in your life is over and perhaps
the people from that chapter will not move on to be in the
next. And when we leave high school we’re naive enough to
believe that our friends will follow us through the pages
of our life, we fully believe that it isn’t good-bye, but
rather see ya later. But in college, three years later, I
am not naive enough to believe in the see ya later, I know
it probably is good-bye.

I truly wish I could make the time go slower, in the last
couple weeks there have been so many moments when I was so
happy, so happy to be with the people I was, that I really
wanted to stop time. But the moment would pass, and the
night would come to an end. I suppose that’s where I am
right now, wanting time to slow down a bit because we only
have such a short time left, but the days will pass, and
this chapter too will come to an end.




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