CHRISSY

Technically Speaking...
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PropellerAds
2005-04-19 02:57:22 (UTC)

WHY?

Today I feel...like I'm retaining a huuuge amount of
water, should be cause I drink and drink and drink, and
don't notice too much coming out. How I hate shopping with
an ugly guy following me, feels paranoic...Of course cute
guys won't do that, some because of insecurity, others
cause they're pretty busy. So, I gave up on my diet one
day after I started it, my goal for P was 135 but now,
seems so faaaar away....I'm just human, lame excuse, what
a drag...so fucking boring, it would be interesting when I
write down that I followed my diet for 20 days, oh yeah!!!
Soooo! Lately, every morning I wake up thinking about Bob,
not that I dream with him, but is like I've been w/him
before (maybe in another life), like U get the impression
he must be thinking of me, cause I feel this strong vibe,
Bob is a very handsome, -a little bit insecure- guy,
european style, likes basketball and soccer, only indoor
sports, and has this very masculine persona, I get warm
just thinking about him, but Bob is Bob, and he's another
stubborn ass, well, at least seems honest, and very, very
attractive...enough with Bob in fantasyland. J is been
calling and calling, sometimes makes me wanna tell him
Fuck off!!! and I'm supposed to call my ML to lunch but
don't wanna drive that way, oh my, feel like I don't feel
doing much. Today I saw a lady with a little boy reading
the product's label to her, cause she was visually
impaired, and I complain because my butt is too big, so
what if a MF doesn't like it??? fuck off & damn...I got my
eyes and my butt the way they are cause that's the way its
suppossed to be. Why God left that lady without
eyesight, why??? and I could write a long list of why God
lets certain injustices...and should it be that he lets,
permits, or allows? Why not that he creates certain life
scenarios that are inimaginable or so painful they say you
get mad at Him? Mad? Honestly, sometimes I wonder how
could I be mad at God if w/the things that happen I feel
like I can't be mad to someone I doubt exits...But wait, I
know he does, you just feel like a puppet directed by a
careless, cruel, ironic, that finds pleasure in suffering,
I mean if God is God, why not get rid of all the pain?
Well maybe that is what life is supposed to be, a big pain
in the ASS, literally for some, and we are supposed to
live it like saying, at least I got my eyesight, or I can
guarantee my hubby isn't gay, or I only weight 110 pounds
and can throw up when I feel like it, and my nails are
pretty, the more superficial your worries, the happier
your life? or deeper the fall?...Because
bottomline is, sooner or later that's destiniy, take
Princess Di for ex., living life at its fulliest, BOOM!!!,
why let the the chouffer drive drunk??? Well,that's fate,
the higher you fly, the deeper the fall...everyone will
die and then...we rest in peace. Now... that is the
cuestion, who knows??? Let me recommend some easy
listening...Blasfemous Rumours by the famous D.M., David
Gahan, I still love U...I do
believe in God, that's why I'm still alive, and he knows
why I'm feeling like this...Oh my, I feel like a whale
right now. I'm sorry.


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