The Angry "I'm Sorry" and "Excuse Me"
i don't know if you've ever experienced this phenomenon of
the human race. but as a species we have been able to take
something that should sound kind or at least docile into a
belligerent precuroser to an all out brawl. the angry "i'm
sorry" and "excuse me" are two things that i have witnessed
a lot at bars and public transportation.
the angry "i'm sorry" is the rarer of the two. you usually
experience those at 11:30 on a saturday night at a club or
bar. usually it's given in a low guttural growl by some
really drunk guy who's eyes focus just long enough on you to
let you know that he's ready to kick some ass. allow me to
paint a scenario.
i'm standing there enjoying a white russian when these two
guys in front of me are butt-fucking each other in that odd
pseudo-homoerotic manner that drunk frat guys adopt after
they're sufficiently liquored up, one of them gets pushed
into me and he quickly spins around. with a glare he says,
"I'M SORRY........." it's not loud, it's more of a low growl
accompanied with a stare that says, "i'm ready to kick some
ass if you don't accept this apology."
then there is the belligerent "excuse me". this you usually
get on the metro when it's crowded and some black woman
wants to get past you. usually it's preceded by a bump,
then as she realizes that she has to actually ask you ot
move you get the, "excuuuuuuuuuuse me." for an example of
the accentuation of this "excuse me" just watch a jerry
springer where one girl says to another, "hey ain't yo man,
he love me!" "excuuuuuuuse me bitch?" that's what you get.
"excuuuuuuuuse me!" i turn around and this girl grabbing
her fake louis vuitton bag is staring at me with a fuming
stare. it's hard to move out of anyone say in the subway,
largely because the aisles were not made for one austrian
and about 200 other people, half of which are about 300 lbs.
a piece. trying to open a lane for an angry black woman
becomes a feat of insurmountable porportions, and as each
second passes here, "excuuuuuuuuuse me!" gets progressively
louder and angrier.