Unseen Scars..
Ad 0:
2005-04-15 20:38:45 (UTC)

phillosophy of relationships..

Well.. that was a WHOLE two days ago! and boy have things
changed! well no.. not really! See i still like Ella, thats
not just gonna go away (as much as i'd like it to!)
although i haven't actually spoke to her for a few days,
which is fine! though at one point we had this 'speaking
every day without fail thing' and that was kinda cool.. but
i'm sure she's busy with life and her gf and that! and
doesn't spare a second thought for me *rolls eyes* so yeh..
i've decided to just kinda forget the whole thing.. try get
over it, its not gonna happen and sometimes you just gotta
know when to give up.. and being friends is always great
too.. probably alot easier than relationships actually! you
know i can't believe i actually spend time writing about
her! she can't even be bothered to say hey to me most of
the time and here i am taking up precious diary space! its
mad! and kinda pathetic.. my lifes pretty pathetic really..
its always me, getting myself into stupid complicated
relationship/friendship situations then not knowing how to
get out of them! don't get me wrong.. i love my friends to
death.. i can't express how much i appreciate them! and
i've had some fantastic relationships but sometimes i just
wonder whether its all worth it.. I've only been writing
here for about a month and in that time i've fell for/been
involved with David, Emma, and Ella.. how crazy! 3
relationships in a month! I'd happily settle down and go
for something a bit more serious but things really aren't
working out for me right now! i thought about going through
a whole anti-relationship stage but there isn't really much
point.. and i met my friends friend the other day.. her
names Amber.. very cute i can tell you! She was my
gorgeously gorgeous straight friend.. but now i've found
out she's not so straight lol! but she seems lovely and my
friend told me she's said from first impressions she thinks
i'm very cool :D and she's looking forward to getting to
know me better and then she said something about she could
see herself with me lol but by this point i was in daydream
land and wasn't really paying much attention! So yeah..
maybe in the future she could be my more serious gf.. :D
but i really don't wanna rush things this time.. just get
to know each other and build on a friendship and see where
things go.. i'm always jumping into situations with my
heart and falling really quickly but i don't wanna do this
time.. well i say falling.. i'm not sure i've ever been in
love.. i just tend to get caught up in the emotion of a new
relationship and feeling wanted and interpret it wrongly..
Oh shit.. i've wrote looooads sorry about that! i'll shush
now! Love, love love! Xxxx