Anne Frank to Bridget Jones
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2005-04-14 17:58:44 (UTC)

and the 3rd condom fit juuuust right

I was stressing out over nothing yesterday. The job
interview went well and the date went even better. The man
I went out with... we will call him "S." It was supposed to
be a proper date and more than just sex. It was about five
minutes before we were going at it like mad.

"Please tell me you have a condom" he whispers

*slaps forehead*

Let me tell you why condoms are the mans responsibility.
Let me paint you a little picture. Girl shows up with
condom, but yikes, the size is too big! Looks like you just
dont measure up, buddy! Or, girl shows up with condom sized
too small. Looks like she has a pretty small opinion of
you, pun intended. I love how they dont call the small
condoms "small", but "snug fit" to salvage the mans ego.

We walked to the store. "And a box of condoms, please." S
said. We could hardly contain our giggles. "Err, better
make that two boxes."

You can tell a lot about a man by which condoms he uses. If
he uses the "for her pleasure" condoms then he is an idiot
and knows nothing of female anatomy. They dont work!
However, hes probably a thoughtful idiot. If he uses the
flavoured variety, then you know just what hes expecting.
If he uses the desensetizing kind, hes probably not worth
having sex with anyway, unless youre a gal on the go. If he
uses a glow in the dark one, watch out ladies, you might be
having sex with a junior highschooler. If he uses a
brightly coloured profo, then he is probably an attention

Tread carefully, ladies!

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