The First Tear

TEars: Good and Bad
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2005-04-12 19:04:55 (UTC)

Drama rules our lives!

Dear Diary

At out school, drama rules our lives. That's all anybody
can think of is about the drama. there's always soembody
talking about somebody else and somebody having sex with
somebody's boyfriend and somebody smoking pot....and
soembody doing this, that, and the other. It's rediculous.
I mean, you try to stay out of it but, there's NO way! Even
if you didn't say a fucking word all year long then they
would start shit about you or drag you into. It horrible.
In a way I wish I would have never came to the school for
the Blind. blind people have a tendency to talk more.

So, how am I doing? Well, Joey just moved to Florida. We
got into a really big fight last night and almost broke up!
Again! I really only give it about a week. I think somebody
will end up breaking up with somebody. Just not sure who
though. If he would break promises and drink beer like I
ASKED him not too...we'd ok...maybe. I just can't take all
this worrying about him. that's all I do now a days. I feel
horrible all the time. I still love him but, I don't know
if we're meant to be together. God I only hope I'm not
pregnant! Dear God my life would truely be ruined I think.
I used to want to get pregnant but, not now. I nkow we
won't last.

I've got sooooo much work to do. I have to work my ass in
swimming, memorize a forensics piece, and still catch up on
history homework. Not to mention I haven't been eating a
lot lately. I can't. I'm just not hungry. I've been having
major urges to cut lately. yes, I've resisted but, it's
been hard. I'm been writing some in my journal on Student
Center. I've also been praying a lot lately. .ol. Never
used to do that. Maybe swimming will help. If I stay active
i will do better. i'll lose weight and look better for prom
and I won't have time to think about cutting and burning
and stuff. oh well.

Well, I should probably go. I'm in school right now and I
don't want anybody reading this. It could be taken way out
of preportion. lol as many things are. I'll write back
later. when I feel like it that is.

Ashley


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