reeses24rc

my diary
2005-04-11 15:20:06 (UTC)

almost a senior....

In the last couple days I’ve read Kal and Devin’s diaries
and it’s funny because so much of what they say parallels
my life. It’s as though the realization that we are one
month away from officially being seniors in college is
dawning on us. I read Kal’s bit on her new
procrastination and I had to laugh because I am doing the
same thing.

I once was someone who had their work done days, if not
weeks ahead of time. To some extent I suppose I still am
that girl, I do still study an awful lot for tests, but I
put off a lot more than I ever used to. I think to myself
that it can wait until tomorrow, failing to realize I am
likely to wake up the next day with a hangover too tired
to do anything but lie on the couch and watch TV. I am
going out a lot more, but I am just trying to have fun and
enjoy life right now. It’s really as though I woke up one
day and realized shit, I am going to be a senior next
year, and after that it’s the real world.

A senior, it sounds so crazy. It doesn’t seem like all
that long ago I was a high school senior looking back
wondering where all those years went. But see the thing
with graduating from high school for me was, that I had a
plan and knew where I was going, knew where I would be for
the next four years. I was scared of course to leave home
and leave my friends, and there were plenty of tearful
good-byes. But you always knew you’d see each other
during breaks. Now, it’s different. I have no idea where
I’ll be after graduating from college. I suppose I’ll be
in grad school some place, where that place is I have no
idea. There will be tearful good-byes with no guarantee
of seeing each other during breaks. After college, its
work and it’s the real world and you don’t get many breaks
out there. You may end up a world away from the people
you didn’t consider never seeing again.

So, maybe this is why I am just having fun, hanging out
with my friends more than I am studying or worrying about
school. Life is so damn short, it seems as though just
yesterday I was walking down the hall of my freshman dorm
for the first time, nervously looking around wondering who
I would make friends with. It seems like just yesterday I
went to my first college party where I was so drunk that I
brought home a stick, named it Stanley, and placed it in
front of our dorm where it stayed for a few months. And
it seems like just yesterday when I met Lynelle, Liz,
Krista, and Andrea, the girls who have touched my life in
so many ways during our three years here. Right now it’s
not the finals I have coming up in a few short weeks, or
my GRE exam that I will start preparing for this summer
that matter the most, it’s my friends and the time I have
left with them, I wish it didn’t have to end…….




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