LibraLady

ImIn&Lost
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2005-04-11 13:57:22 (UTC)

What A Weekend!!!!!

What a weekend...I thought it would be peaceful and pretty
much quiet but alot of things has changed. I guess I'll
start with friday.

Friday: I was doing my usual checking up on my husband
stuff when I realized that on his blog you could click on
the names of the people that left comments, and guess what.
The susie bitch and the jelly girl both have blogs too. So
I decided to check them out. Of course susie don't have a
link to her website on that either. I guess she's embrassed
about the way she looks. I'm surprised she even let my
husband see that picture of her, hell it might not have
really been her to begin with. Lol. Anyways, susie only has
a couple of entries on it. It looks like she quit doing it.
But I do find that my husband left her comments on how you
hope people are talking about you...blah, blah, blah. You
know the shit a wife don't want to read that her husband
has said to another women. It wasn't too bad but it still
gets to me. Then I read the jelly girls blog. She mentions
talking to my husband again and being friends again. She
had an entry where she says how he seems to be avoiding her
and stuff. The thing that bugs me is he's leaving these
thoughtful comments to her. I also found out that she has
his work email. He left her a comment about how funny that
was and that he cracked up and everyone was looking at him
in his office. So there was something else I didn't know. I
thought he only talked to them during the game but now I
found out that he talks to them at work too. I get madder
then hell. I feel like I don't know anything that's going
on. He calls me and he could tell something was wrong. So I
asked him he talks to anyone from SL at work. He says he
sometimes gets emails. I asked him why he didn't tell me
about that. He said he thought it was no big deal. So I
made it a point to tell him that I feel like he hides
things from me and that if I don't ask then I don't need to
know. He asks me how much longer am I going to do this
because it's getting old and he's had enough. I tell him I
don't know and he has to expect it after everything that's
happened. The conversation ends bad. He ends up going to
play disc golf and when he gets home I leave with my sister
to look at bride maids dresses. When I get home our
daughter is asleep on the couch and he's upstairs on the
bed crying. I ask him what is wrong. He said he quit SL. I
asked him why. He said because he needs me to trust him and
I can't because of the game. I told him that I'm just
having a hard time that he don't need to do that. He says
yes I do. So I get mad and storm off. He comes downstairs
about an hour later and says that he needs my support. I
told him I don't want you to do this. You like that game
and you need people to talk to. He says I'll talk to you.
He asks me if I realize that for the last 6 months that he
has been on there everyday for hours on end. I said yes
that was part of my problem. It seemed like he need the
game and the people on there more then me. I told him that
I keep him from everything that he wants to do. I feel like
that if he hadn't married me that he would of went to
college or started a business by now. I just hold him back.
He kept telling me no, that's not true. He said that I'm
more important then anyone or anything. He says he wants to
quit SL. It would be for the best. I told him for me, not
him. He said that this was his decision and he wants me to
support him. So I let it go but still feel guilty. We made
love that night and it was really good.

Saturday: He went and played disc golf with a friend. I
took our daughter out for lunch and went shopping. I got
her a new pair of gym shoes and got my husband a new pillow
and some buttons so I could fix his shorts. We got along
pretty well. The guilt was still getting to me. But he did
stay off the SL. Probably the first time in months that
that has happened.

Sunday: He went and played disc golf again. I'm glad he
likes it so much since that's what he's thinking about
starting his business with. We pretty much just lounged
around. The whole family took a nap for a couple of hours.
It through me off getting laundry done but that's ok. Later
on that night he got on SL because he needed to tell some
more people that wasn't on friday and he needs to figure
out what to do with his store on there. I notice him
talking to someone that I'd never seen. He was helping her
because she had gotten involved with someone on the game
and it caused her husband to separate from her then the SL
guy dumps her. Now she realizes what a mistake she made. He
was telling her how the SL relationships are a trap and
that all they do is cause problems. She said didn't you
have a relationship on SL? He said yes and that he regrets
every minute of it. It was a stupid mistake on his part and
that he wishes he had never done it. He then tells her he's
quitting SL. She asked why, family? He says yes. He said at
the very least not going to get on it nearly as much as
before because he needs real relationships and not this
fake reality. After that we go bed. I tell him he don't
have to quit the game. He tells me to stop it. It's not my
fault and that it's his decision. So I go to sleep feeling
guilty.

I feel so bad. I feel like I took the one thing he loved
away from him. Then I tell myself it was the other way
around wouldn't I give something up it was causing problems
in my marriage? Of course I would. He is more important to
me then anything. So I guess that's where he's coming from.
He can continue doing it. I just wish he would only do it
maybe once or twice a week and only be on it for a couple
of hours at the most. And I don't like him having anything
to with the women outside of the game. Is that too much to
ask? I'm not allowed to talk to men outside of work so what
is the difference. Just because most of the women are miles
away in other states doesn't mean that they can't get an
attachment or him either. I don't know. If anyone reads
this and has any words of wisdom, it would be greatly
appreciated.


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