Lost_cold_alone

Flying on broken wings
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2005-04-10 09:02:36 (UTC)

April 10th

Dear diary,

It's 3:56 am right now, and I just have to update real
fast...

1 : Sigh. Despite all that you've said to me, I still
feel sad for you... And I still care about you...

2: i wish you didn't..

1 : And I wish you'd just accept the fact that you're not
another girl wandering around this world--you're very
unique--you're my friend, and I see great potential inside
you... I know it hurts to hear that, but that's the truth.
2: ...if this is going to be goodbye.. i wish you would
stop making it harder..

1 : I don't want it to be, deep inside... But if you
don't want to see me any more, then I'll just stop... And
you can forget all about me.

2: ..i wouldn't be able to-.. but it would be one less
reason to make me cry..

1 : Sigh. Then if this is goodbye, then please grant me
one last request.

2: ..yes?...

1 : I wish to see you one last time... To share in
pleasure one last time.

2: You would see nothing.. nothing but a child. I broken
child left in tears from the break up of a family, from
the pain of love, and the pain of empty promises.. I will
not show myself.. not anymore.. never agian..

1 : You won't even grant me a final request... Sigh... So
be it... Farewell, in what ever path life takes you... I
do not expect to see you again...

2: I-.. hope for once.. you are wrong.. goodbye m-.. sir..

1 : I hope that I am right... I don't want to have to
deal with the pain of saying goodbye to you again...
So... Goodbye...

2: Then please dont go! please, carpediem means seize the
day, and the moment, and like those boys in the dead poets
soicety.. I will.. but for something differen't. They did
as their "captin my captin" helped them do, and for me, i
have my heart. I want to be friends with you. I want to
stop complaining so much, and I want to be with you. I
want to be happy-.. I want to trust you and grow up out of
my childish stage.. if you will give me just one more
chance..

1 : ... Chances are as drops of rain... All of them
holding potential, all of them beautiful in their form as
they fall from the heavens... But when they strike the
ground, they shatter and are lost forever... Chances are
many, but they are very short lived...

2: then so let it be.. that i stand here in the rain, with
my hands held out in hope, in pray that I might yet be
able to catch just one drop in my hand.. before it hits
the ground.. shattering like a broken dream..

1 : In time, you'll catch your drop of rain...

2: ..till then.. i shall stand here holding out my hands..


No matter what I do, there are always people that care
about me. There are always people that "Love" me, there
will always be that pain. I have a friend in this man (1)
that i spoke to... and now after a fight... I must now
wait for that drop of rain to land in my hand...


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