The life of me
2005-04-09 23:14:37 (UTC)

*when is it going to end*

My mom never stops. She doesn't care how much she hurts me.
The other night she called and cussed me out cuz I was
online and my stepdad turned my cell phone off and she
couldn't get through and she left me a text message that
said "Jolyn answer the phone or lose it." and she left me a
voice mail that said "Jolyn, answer the fucking phone or
I'll take it away and you'll never get it back." God, I'm
so sick of this. I hate it here. I want to be in Iowa with
Bruce more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire
life. I miss him so much and what hurts the worst is that
nobody in my family seems to care how miserable and lonely
I am. I love them all so much and it hurts that they don't
love me, especially my mom. What did I do to deserve the
way she treats me? I've tried all my life to please her and
be the perfect daughter but I can't be no matter how hard I
try. I try and try and try but it's never good enough. Am I
ever going to get out of here? I've asked my aunts and my
uncle several times to take me to the bus station and they
all say, "Sorry, we can't do that, your mom will kill us"
My stepdad says the same thing. Doesn't my happiness mean
anything to anybody? I'm starting to think the answer is
no. Just because I fell in love with Bruce that does not
make me a bad person. *Tears* Somebody love me damn it is
that too much to ask to be loved by your own family?