*~*Silent Tears*~*

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2005-04-07 19:25:57 (UTC)


Today could have been a really good day or a really
bad day, however I thought it was pretty okay so far. I
mean some bad things did happen, and the day started out
really hard, but it got better as the day went on. I had
a lacrosse game today, and even though we lost, I thought
I did okay. It felt so good to get back on the field with
all the excitement although at first I was so nervous I
was shaking, seriously, but that wore off really fast and
the rest of it was a blast. I played D-wing, with is a
defensive position in which you get to go all across the
field. I had a difficult girl to guard, but I really
liked the challenge, it was so . . . fun! Mom's yelling
at me for stuff, but thats okay I guess. I finally found
a purse that it not a hand-me-down and I REALLY like it,
BUT my mom took it away and said I had to earn it by doing
some stuff which really bugged me and when I told her that
wasn't fair she said that she was going to take it back
even though I was the one who was ganna pay for it! That
bites a lot, but yeah fun stuff. I have a HUGE history
test tomorrow that I am not ready for, and I have to do
really well cuz this test could make or brake my history
grade which is very depressing, so yeah I gotta get to
that soon. I also have a harp compitition this weekend,
and I am getting really nervous cuz I haven't played
infront of people as a solo for a long time . . . and not
since things have changed a lot, so yeah I am freakin
nervous. Sigh. As far as me goes I guess things are
pretty good. I am kinda mad at myself a bit right now
just cuz of some stuff I did that I screwed up on baddly,
but that will pass eventually, so I just have to wait til
then. I don't think that I have to be perfect or
anything insane like that, I just know I have plenty of
weaknesses of my own, and yeah lots to work on, so
yeah, I just, idk. Never mind. Umm as far as my last
post about the teddy bear thing, don't take that too
seriously cuz it might have said somethings I can/wouldn't
say so yeah, i just thought it was really cute and yeah.
Its funny and yet kind of stupid, how we as people have
bad times and then act like we are the only ones who are
having difficult things happen, but it is just the
opposite, other people just hide it better. So next time
you feel like whining you head off (I do that all the
time) then think about just the people you know and what
you can to to make them happier, and you would be
surprised see the difference it makes. And well it puts
your problems in prospective because there is always
someone who is having a harder time then you. So, as much
fun as pity parties are, you could be such a better person
if you helped someone else with their's instead of having
your own. I am not really saying to ignore your problems,
but it helps to help someone else becuase then sometimes
you find an answer to you problem or at least it lets you
cool off so you can look at your problem in a better
light. I am not saying this to critize anyone, I am
really saying these things as a reminder to me, cuz I
needed one. If you are reading this, you can try my
advice too, and if not then no one will punish you for
it. Another thing I found out, or rather am still trying
to learn it seems is that talking is a good thing
and "nothing" is the worst word you can every say to
anyone, just fyi, or so I am told. Well I guess my
rambling is done for tonight, cuz my hw is not. I will
end this entry with a poem I wrote for one of the first
journals I ever had. The title is stupid, but I like the
message, so here.

My World

This journal is a lock,
my pen is the key.
The secrets I will hide inside here,
are ones I will not share openly.
My dreams and wishes for the future,
and my memories of the past.
My wonders and my questions,
of things I will never ask.
My heart and soul behind this door,
my emotions here they fly and sore.
Open this book carefully,
it knows when its you and not me.
This journal is a lock,
my pen is the only key.

-*~*Silent Tears*~*