Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-04-06 20:12:39 (UTC)

Getting really frustrated...

I know I've sucked at going to the gym lately, but my
boyfriend doesn't help. He wants me to pick him up tonight
and then maybe go out somewhere. That's fine. I'm going
to try to be super nice and helpful for a while b/c of
what's gone on...it's normal, to do that, I think.

But even if I haven't been going to the gym for a while...
he knows I want to go. He knows I went - "went" -
yesterday and have been trying to get back at it.

So why does he do this?

He knows I won't say no. And of course I wouldn't say no
right now...that's different...

He would really appreciate it if I could come up by six.
If I can't...that is okay... He just really feels like
seeing me ([-big smile-]).

He put that big smile in his e-mail...jftr...

Of course he knows I'll go. B/c I'm a fucking sucker.

But...I just want to cry. It's never going to work. I'm
never going to look good or feel good or be in shape
because I'm always going to be driving around the goddamn
city picking people up and dropping them off and going to
the grocery store and "hanging out" or trying not to fight
over dinner and this and that and the next...

I just...fuck I just want to cry. I just want to go to the
gym. I just want to go to the gym every night from 7 - 9.
That's all I want. I want to go to the gym from 7 - 9
every night and let that be my alone/personal time if
that's the way I have to work it.

I just...

WTF? The receptionist is now calling her e-mail "memos".
Send me a memo to see if my email is working.

And TLS came by randomly to see how my workload is. Call
me cynical but someone's been complaining again. Fuck I

Gotta go. Gotta make sure I don't leave here too late b/c
gotta pick up my bf.

And transit strike looming in the near future. Monday is
going to be hell if they strike. Sigh. Please, TTC, don't

Let me crack up now so I don't burst into tears...