Fallen Angel with no Heart

An angel's life
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2005-04-06 15:27:39 (UTC)

Yet agen on my grandad's lap top.

I cannot believe what I have just done. I wrote a massive
3 page letter to you john, explaining so many things, and
it’s all gone! I wanted to wipe it off the laptop but I
forgot that I had just saved it on the disk, so when it
asked to save the changes (when I weird everything off the
document o that it was just blank) it actually wiped it
off on my floppy disk! Im so clumsy. Basically these are
the following points I made

a) that I loved what we were
b) I love alex even though me and him had a difficult
break up, however you cant choose who you love (and
understanding how you feel)
c) Statements made on how I have acknowledged ages
ago what a cruel and selfish world this is.
d) Talked bout the first time you said ‘I love you’
(in a text in chemistry 4 days after we talked it was a
Thursday)
e) Finally how you understand that I care bout
anyone and everyone but myself, and that I only want make
other people happy, so the sacrifices I made and still
make for alex wont change, cause its who I am.

That’s about it but it was so long john! I’ve just lost
all of it! Im sitting in the sitting room at the minute
watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It’s the one where Will
ask’s Boys II Men. Wow I love them! They have made so many
nice songs.

I want to tell you that I appreciate your texts, I
think that they are great, they make me smile, they make
me giggle, and they do make me feel wanted. And yes, yes I
do know what you are saying ‘you are wanted Ali cause I
love you’ trust me I know too much about they things you
say and the things you think. Maybe we are on the same
brain wave or something. Oh and before I forget to mention
it you have a very nice voice on the phone… im sure I’ve
told you that once before.
I love laptops John! I can’t stop typing in this
thing, I think that they are great I can just sit here and
type to my hearts content. Wow I love it. I can’t believe
that im on a laptop. Im on the phone to brucey talking
bout david how emotional. She is talking bout how she
wants us to be together me and david, but I feel nothing
for him! All I feel is friendship. He told me that he
wanted to kiss me every time he looked at me that made me
feel very un-comfortable with him and everything. Wow why
is life so hard?
im gona keep away from him tonite and just enjoy the
movie, fuck everyone else


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