Fallen Angel with no Heart

An angel's life
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2005-04-06 09:27:51 (UTC)

on my grand's laptop! this is 4 pg's long on there

Im on my granda’s lap top at the min and I thought I would
use this and transfer it to my diary, as I havent been on
a lap for so long and I think they are amazing. Espically
this one!
Nothing reali happened yesterday I cant really remember
any of the day, maybe parts like ironing in brucey’s. what
david told me… and .. actually aim confused bout what
david told me, he said hat everytime he looks at me has
the urge to kiss me, and wishes that we were back
together.. does that mean I got to stay away frm him so he
can get ova me? Does that mean ive lost a friend? Can I
still go over to his house and just have fun..like
watching dvd’s and playing on tekken… this boy stuff is
all so confusing. I mean yes I understand girls can be
confusing we go in and out of moods all the time, I guess
hats the way we are reali built in a sense.. the boys
chase and we race. However isn’t it the boys ego that
seems to develop first? Girls aren’t much into there looks
until they hit bout there teens, but for some lads they
seem to hit there ego full on bout 10 or even younger
depending on how they are brought up. Does hat mean girls
have to become prettier? How can we become prettier? This
is where all the cosmic surgery stuff goes into it.
However lasses, we got to remember that we become more
mature at a earlier age, leading lads into not liking us,
for once we have beat them in something they can’t
control. Except I have to admit if I had a choice of
acting more like an adult or like a kid… I would choose
I don’t knw what I have been rambling on I just thought
I should put some of my thoughts down.

I think im going to the pics tonite! Woo hoo ! im gona go
and see the Ring 2 which I have to say wil b quite scary!
Uh oh louise is down stairs and im sure that she is gonna
have a go a me.. im not doin any harm? Im just typing in
here, and then transferring it to my online diary.
Speaking of that I was reading john’s agen last nite. Im
starting to not look at it that much anymore, it just has
the same thing in it ova andova agen… I love ali… sorry
john but ive said nothing can happen on that evel. I may
have felt that for u once but I cant bring it bk. It
wouldn’t work out. God im bored… I should reali start to
get ready. I got to go … actually no I don’t now. My kid
has just came into the room and said “ what are u doing”
simply told her I wasn’t doing anything important.
I wish I had one of these… I could ramble on like this
for ages

Ive got puddle of mudd on “blurry” and my kid actually
knows this song and is singing along to it?unusual I mean
she never does that, well certainly not to any of my music
that I put on. Ive just thought me and y kid do actually
share a lot in common, he likes the same clothes that I
do.. well I can tell by that as she is always borrowing
something of mine and it the same the other way round,
always switching album’s and asking each other to either
turn it up or make a god suggestion to put on another
song, but louise likes pop and Robbie Williams…. I like
him he has a good attitude in his songs and he aint afraid
to show it. U could say the same bout Avril Lavigne except
louise doesn’t reali like her that much, she doesn’t like
the whole ‘gothic’ look or the false intentions
of ‘enimen’ and him trying to sell records my hurting and
discriminating ppl.

Ive wrote bought full page on here… wow ive got a lot of
thoughts. Either that or im totally insane and cant handle
the world….. yeah I would go for the second one…the insane
one. Hold on im gona go and get my music cd… I wanna b on
this for quite a while.
There im back again ive got the Rooster Album on here…
wow they are amazing espically live! I remember that night
very well, I remember being crushed…. That song ‘deep and
meaningless’ is one and that song is bout me and john, but
its from me to John. Im gona gout my favourite song on its
called “ angels calling” that song used to b on there
website.. and I got it straight away wen I came up, only a
minute long or something, but it was good.. I hoped and
prayed that they played it on the night of the gig… and
they did me and brucey stopped jumping around and we just
stood there while I sung my heart out and brucey tried but
she didn’t reali knw the song..that song was supposed to b
bught me and alex me breaking away from him. But it keeps
turning around and it was bout john and then bought david
and then john agen. So ive just given up and let it b what
I want it to be. Werid! I didn’t even select it! And its
came on! Wow I love this song actually im gona type out
the lyrics… its deserves the respect of that here it goes…
this is angel’s calling by Rooster. ( I also like th song
cause its bout angel’s! and u all knw how much I am of a
fanatic bout angels.. the guardians of are souls, the
holder of are hears, the spirits of are loved ones…

Angels calling

You and I we were one
And I swore I’d stay forever
But they say all good things come to an end
-my friend
Now its time to move on
But I don’t thinkthat this is easy
‘Cos its hardto be leaving you behind
But you will be fine.

Oh so if you believe
Say a prayer for me
I wont be here tomorrow
Somewhere I got to be
Thigns you want to say
Save them for another day
Cos I can hear the angel’s calling
Angerls calling for me.

Does it help if I say
That im reali truly sorry
And tat I never mean for it to end
-this way
There’s a place in your heart
Where you’ll always find me
And I’ll be with you wherever you are
Near or far


You and I, we were one
And I swore I’d stay forever
But they say all good things come to an end
-my friend

there wow I love that song ! and im on to my third page
on this relai lush laptop I don’t knw if all of this will
fit in my diary. I don’t think ive said enough though. Il
talk bout something…. Emm… alex. Ah well I was at his last
nite, and he noticed I had a sweat band on and he realised
that something was wrong wit my wrist…he was asking me all
night on and off if he could see it, but he never got
to..i don’t want pl to see what I have been doing, its my
body its my thing that makes me feel better, I was going
to do some more but I lost the thing that I need to do it
with. So that relai bummed me out yesterday so instead I
decided to drink and that made me feel a lot better! Lol
that y I can’t remember much bout yesterday I was out of
it for most of te day, I guess you would say that I was
drowning my sorrows. Me and alex have been arguing quite
alot, and my mam said to me yesterday that she has noticed
that after going to alex’s that I usually come b all moody
and cheeky. Its just cause im like that wit alex, he
brings out the best in me.. the funny side.. the relaxed
side… lol.. like wen call each other freaks and fat and
stuff,.. we only do it for a laugh… but if I did it in
this house? Woo would I get a telling off for doing it.
But no me and him have been arguing quite a lot, all to do
with john and his non-trust in boys, the other week he
wasn’t going to ‘allow’ me out to my mate ‘kevins’ and I
was like ‘allow me? Wat am I ur puppet? Grow up’ and I
walked out and went, nd im thankful I did because I helped
a lot of ppl out that nite, a lot a lot of ppl out
actually. Stupidly enough one of them was bethan…. Ooo I
hate her soo much! I was waiting for her to come and knock
on brucey yesterday I had a whole ppl planned and a hit
across the face well a punch, but she never knocked! I was
in the shower for like half an hour prepairing a hit and
everything! But no show. I just till cant believe that
well she has no respect for herself but now since she
hasn’t old ay lads what she had or has still got that she
actually has something (or had) I mean what happens if
they were the carrier and they passed it onto there lasses
that they have slept with after bethan…. This is how
teenage STI’s go round come people like bethan like to
keep this stuff to herself showing she doesn’t care for
anyone else other than her. To even think that my mate
jamesy mite have it,,,… if he has god will I kill her, I
still reali cant belie that she did that wit jamesy I mean
its jamesy my friend! One of my bodyguards :P but no! She
decides to get him while he is a bit tipsy (well not a
bit) she always said she wanted a ‘fresh’ one and I guess
she got one. Oh god I cant belive her! Brucey used to have
this song for daniel’s ex sammy joe.. wen sammy joe was
trying to split her and Daniel up, it was called ‘nasty
girl’ By Destiny’s Child. But its not bout sammy joe no
longer even sammy joe has more respect for herself than
bethan… and that is saying something! But how can a lad
sleep with her? She is ‘easy’ but she aint even pretty she
has like greasy hair… she is always dirty.. her clothes
are always filthy…oh god she is minging, I mean if I
didn’t have a bath for a week, I would look cleaner than
bethan! I just cant belive her, I cant belive that she
took advantage of jamesy..he says he aint bothered, cause
it was partially his fault, but he also said it wouldn’t
have never ever happened if he hadn’t of had anything. Ew!
Ew! Ew! He even admitted that before anything did happen
he was actually looking at me for like a plead of help,
but he said I was too busy playing on tekken to notice
that bethan was all over him. Even more worse than what
she did.. is that she actually did it in david’s house….
Well david’s bathroom…. Yea maybe there is a moment for
everything and place and stuff…. But not that place…not
someone else’s bathroom… and david’s mam knew bought it
aswell…well till afterwards it happened. David’s mam is
class. I love her to bits, she rocks. Wow this is another
song that I like by Rooster its new out in the charts but
its also on there album its called “You’re So Right For
Me” I don’t knw whether to type out the lyrics or not.
Yeah I will it doesn’t look that long. Wow I have been
typing a lot though, I lovbe laptops.. this is the reason
y I can just talk and talk on these things, and they wont
slow down or crash or anything well my granddad’s wont.
Here it is….this is You’re so right for me.. by Rooster!

You’re so right for me

Well I lost my faith in fellow man
I’ve been living alone so long
That I don’t know who I am
Why did it take so long
Why did it take so long?

I’ve been waiting a lifetime
For someone like you to set me free
Why did it take so long
For you to come and rescue me
Why did it take so long
Why did it take so long?

‘Cos you’re beautiful and everyone knows it
And you’re everything I want you to be
I got sunshine on y face
My smile shows it
Well it can’t be wrong
‘Cos you’re so right for me

You’re so right for me
Yeah Yeah
You’re so right for me

Well it just don’t matter if its wrong or right
I didn’t know something could feel so good
I’ve been wasting all my time
Why did it take so long
Why did it take so long?


ive wrote so much in this today..well on my grand’s
laptop its amazing! This is the last of the 4th page… ops
I stil got the centre thing on hold on there that’s
better. I don’t reali know wat to write bout now…. Im
just wondering if this will all fit on my diary online. I
doubt that it will hold al of this… I got to go the
battery is low bye xxxxxxxxxxxx love u angels xxxxxxxxxxxx

hiya! ive just put in on my computer, go it feels so
werid to b on here now. Im gona go and hop in the shower
b4 i become a bethan, BYE! XXXXXXXXXXXX

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