doverwood

Someone to Talk To...
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2005-04-06 02:05:32 (UTC)

An insight...

Ok, so i know i've been driving the son crazy with
questions about university - how will you manage your
time; what's your plan for handling homesickness; blah
blah blah... and i've realized something BIG

i'm not asking for him. ok, i am. I have things he needs
to know before he goes. but. i'm really asking for me. i
need to know that he can handle this stuff, before he goes
away. i'm asking so that later, I can feel better when
he's gone. pretty f---g selfish, if you ask me!

it came to me during a conversation with another mother.
i realized that i wasn't helping him feel more secure and
confident. by ramming all these questions at him all the
itme i was making him feel less confident - not the goal
at all...

so i've backed off considerably - and he's been able to be
more honest with me as well. we're going for a final
visit at one of the campuses this Saturday, and he's asked
that he go on the tour itself by himself. that's ok with
me - i think the fact that he's articulating this means
he's more sure about his self-esteem and trusts me not to
take it personally...

his father, on the other hand, will have to
be "handled"...

more later...


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