My Disturbing Thoughts
2005-04-05 23:11:03 (UTC)

My life is filled with shame..

My life is filled with shame and misery
There are so many things I will never be able to take back
no matter how much I honestly want to
Sometimes I feel like even he is trying to ruin my life
there is nothing for me here
I want to go home
exept I don't know where home is
I have been lost inside my head for a very long time
trying to find my way back is not very easy
there have been so many obstacles
and nothing I have passed seems familiar
I miss feeling loved and wanted
I hate this feeling of longing for death
when death just won't come
I have always lived my life for someone else
I have never done anything because it would make me happy
It has always been top make someone else happy
but I cannot help everyone
I cannot please everyone
Though I wish with all of my heart that I could
I don't think I will ever be happy
I don't think I will ever truely help someone
I have no purpose
no reason to live
I wish I could just kill myself
I would be helping me and in turn helping many others

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