Addie GrrLie

Hey You. . .
2005-04-05 11:18:20 (UTC)

06 - 51 degrees

I have been up since you left. So early, too early to
think clearly. My mind is confused, and my asthma has
made me feel like I have lack of oxygen to the brain.
Smoking cigarettes and hitting the pipe, I am hazed and
dazed, but not so clumsy. Which makes me feel more in

We've been doing the weird thing lately, where I think
sumthing and you say it, or do it. Last night with the
poptart, although I didn't know strawberry was your
favorite, and this morning with the sex. Before I went to
sleep, I was laying there wondering how long it had been
since we had morning sex, just a quickie before you go to
work. I was wondering if maybe you don't find me as
attractive. The other day I fell asleep without my
panties on, when I woke up, I was turned on, thought of us
the night before. But when you woke up, why didn't you
feel the same? Maybe you just don't have time... Is it
because you reset the alarm so much... I don't know. I
don't know where I am going with this or why. In my head
the past few days, I have been wondering if things have
changed for you, since the big fight, the meltdown? Maybe
it is in my head, but I feel like I have been coming to
you, needing so much attention, needing more than you...
But are you just not coming to me because you don't have
to, because I am so willingly right there? That makes
sense and makes me feel so much better about myself. I
mean, I know I could back off and play sum game, sum
experiment, but I don't wanna. I wanna be as close to you
as possible, every second of every day that is possible.
You are my possession, I own you, and I want to smother
you. You can only breathe me.

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