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The Security Tabs
i don't know if you're familiar with bindings. there are
the usual gbc bindings (which are those annoying round ass
binders), there are the good old two or three pronged
binders, and then there are the vitabond high density
security tab bindings. this was what a property report was
bound in today at my law firm, and this was also the binding
that shana wanted me to tear open. i tried myb est to
explain to her that there was no way that i would ever get
it apart, in fact the very point of this binding was that
you could tell if someone tried to get it apart.
"these are security tabs, they can't be pulled apart without
ruining the document."
"nonsense, you just have to give it a big manly pull! like
this was followed with a hugh! as she tried to tug it apart.
i smiled bemused and she pulled out a pair of scissors.
"nothing a little leverage can't fix."
after applying leverage for about five minutes, cutting
herself twice, and managing to severe the head of the first
tab, she gave it to me exasperately.
"just give it a try."
"i am going to tear it, if i apply pressure."
"nawhhhhhh you won't, just give it a quick pull."
"i tore the back of it."
"oh my god! i can't ask the client for another one!"
"these are security tabs, they don't come undone."
seemed futile now, but i figured i'd just tell her again.
"can you put it back together?"
if i had security tabs i'll tell ya what i'd do with em.