LibraLady

ImIn&Lost
2005-04-01 15:50:21 (UTC)

Friday

Well it's friday. I'm at work right now wondering what I
will do this weekend. Most likely nothing because I'm
pregnant and most of the people I talk to are bar hoppers
so I try and avoid things like that right now. I wish I had
one close friend to talk to. I really don't have anyone but
my family and my husband. Last night my husband and I made
love. I wish I was more into it but here lately I don't
feel attractive. I want to do it but I feel like I look
bad. I'm getting fatter, plus my skin is breaking out. Not
just on my face either. My chest and back are too. I feel
disgusting right now. I've been trying different things to
try and clear it up but nothing seems to be working. I
guess it's my hormones that's causing this. My husband and
I talked more. He can tell somethings been bothering me. I
asked him if he still worries about us not having anything
in common. He said not as much as he use to. I keep
thinking are marriage is going to be doomed if we're
nothing alike. Then I tell myself how many couples are.
Sure they might have a couple things in common but I'm
pretty sure that there are more differences then
similarities. We both like movies and music. I told him I'd
like to try disc golfing with him. He thinks I shouldn't
while I'm pregnant but I don't see the harm in it right
now. I won't be getting big until about june or july so why
not try it. It's probably good exercise. I just want to try
more of the things he does just to see if I like it too.
I've always been a chicken shit on trying things because I
don't want to look like an ass. I need to give up that fear
or we will never find anything in common. He also gets into
goth stuff. I kindof do too. I love vampire movies. He told
me yesterday that he wants to start collecting them here
soon. I feel we have alot more in common them he realize.
My fear is he will want someone else he meets in the future
because he has more in common with them. I know he keeps
telling me not to worry about stuff like that but I can't
help it. He was very loving yesterday and he told me,
AGAIN, that he said alot of things that were wrong. I say,
I know,I know, but deep down I wonder if he really means it
and what he is really thinking. I looked today at a chinese
birth calender. It says we will have a girl. I hope it's
wrong. I really want a boy and I really think it would do
my husband good to have a son. Please Lord please let it be
a boy. Do this one thing for me. If not for me then my
husband. Maybe this will help him. Amen.




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