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Helpless mosochistic love
2005-03-31 17:11:21 (UTC)

This smile I wear (poem to GG)

I sit here...
Thinking of you
Thinking about the memories we shared
I miss them and I miss you
Since the moment you said good-bye
I haven’t been the same
Something’s been missing...
It's my smile
People began to feel sorry for me
They would be afraid to laugh
Their smiles began to fade along with mine.

So, now this smile I wear
I wear it every day
Taking it off only
When I'm in my room at night
Then I let it all out
My pillow is wet from the tears
I lie there until I fall asleep
I just need you to hold me tight
I need to hear you say
Those sweet words to me just once more
So I can take you in my arms
And hold onto you forever...

I wish I could just leave
The fake smile at home
So they would all realize
My suffering isn't over
My heart is still broken
Into a million pieces
At the bottom of my soul
I wish they knew
So I could have some comfort
So they could tell me
It's going to be all right.

My life without you
Has been so unbearable to live
And I hate every second I breathe
Because it just proves
I can live without you...
Only God knows
How much I miss you
He only knows how much I cry
With every tear that falls
My heart gets weaker
And my hope for 'us' fades.

I had so much faith in our love
I thought that it alone
Could get us through anything
People say time heals the hurt
But if they lost someone like you
They would know- it isn't true
You tried to tell me things will get easier
With every day that goes by
I hate it when I get asked
How im doing
I hate to disappoint them
And tell them
I exist no longer...

Please tell me this isn't what you wanted
Please tell me what I feel is real
Good-byes don't have to last forever




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