Idiocracy and Hilarity
So, I'm going to ASU in the fall. My mom and I decided
to accept today and send in the money and fill out the
mountain of forms Freshman have to fill out just to get
into college. One of those forms is the Health form. On
this three page, front and back, form is a page for the
students to fill out. It has your vaccination dates,
serious illness questions and if any of those serious
illnesses run in your family by blood.
But, then, when I was almost finished, the last four or
five questions made me stop. And laugh.
To my surprise, the last questions were as follows.
Have you ever or have you now: 1)Alcohol Use. 2)Drug Use.
3)Anorexia/Bullemia. 4)Smoke 1 cigarettes/week.
5)Regularly Exercise. 6)Wear seat belt. And after all of
these questions, there is a spot where you are supposed to
put the YEAR OF FIRST OCCURANCE.
Yes. I'm being serious. I'm looking at a form that
askes me when the first time I had a beer was, the first
time I did drugs and, my favorite, the first time I WORE A
SEAT BELT. ....
Being the Good Samaritan I am. I told the truth about
all my alcoholic and drug related expierences. Although,
since I didn't remember the first day I had a beer, or the
day in particular I first smoked weed, my mother and I
decided to put down my 16th birthday. In my alternate
reality, I skipped school with my mom, got my belly button
pierced, went home, got drunk, smoked a bowl, wasn't
satisfied, so I shot up heroine.
So, tragically unsure of my answers, even if it's meant
to be an attack on the stupidity of the question, I asked
a friend who filled out the same sheet earlier. Little did
I know, his mother filled it out for him. This is some of
our conversation about it:
flowerpunk67: actually i think my mom filled it out, haha
audibaby85: Are you serious? Well, did you tell her the
truth? Or do you think she put down no for all of them?
flowerpunk67: no for both, i assume, although she knows
flowerpunk67: do you think they'd not let you in if you
said you had?
audibaby85: Hm...well, I guess we'll see. I did.
flowerpunk67: it is technically illegal
audibaby85: It's the truth and if they really want to
know, I don't smoke weed anymore. And I drink in
moderation, but I still drink. Yeah I know, I talked it
over with my Mom.
audibaby85: We decided to put down that I did both two
years ago, when I was REALLY a minor.
audibaby85: I was thinking about putting down I'd done
both when i was one, but didn't.
flowerpunk67: haha, why didn't you just lie?
audibaby85: *shrugs* Why didn't you just tell the truth?
audibaby85: Everyone drinks and a lot of people smoke
weed. The people who run App. know that.
audibaby85: They know that all those no's are all probably
yes's in reality.
flowerpunk67: but still you dont have to admit it
flowerpunk67: are you doing that asu summer preveiw thing ?
audibaby85: What's the point in not admitting it? I still
have a 4.0 GPA. I still have connections on campus. I
don't think it'll hurt me to tell the truth.
So, am I fucked or not? *shrugs* I guess we'll find out
Yes, it's a matter or morals, or lack thereof. I'm
immoral if I admit to drinking and smoking weed (I didn't
even admit that I smoked cigs. Good for me I never smoked
that many.), but I'm immoral if I don't because I'm
lieing. I just hope I get to go to college next year.