GlamRocker77

glamRocker77
2005-03-29 05:52:57 (UTC)

some dreams are just dreams

so lately i get the sinkin' feeling that sometimes i'm
chasing impossible dreams and that i should a.) take a
step back and maybe slow it down and not get myself hurt
or b.) just jump into it full throttle and see what
happens. but i don't know somethings are just weird and i
don't know how to comprehend things. i also think about
stuff that happened in the past and how it relates to
today and it kind of scares me how one little decision can
change a whole future but then i also think well you
shouldn't worry about it cause you can't go back and
change it and hindsight is always 20/20. i wish sometimes
things were a lot easier and people didn't have to get
hurt by other peoples decisions but then that wouldn't be
life now would it and whats the point of livin' if you
don't get hurt sometimes, cause for everytime you get hurt
you get a feeling that is twice as powerful which cancels
anything bad out. theres a certain girl from my past no
matter how many times she broke my heart i would always go
back and still would just because the good always
outweighed the bad and i think most relationships feed off
of this common principle or maybe its just me. another
thing that i wish i would and other people would do is
just speak freely about how they feel i know it may seem
like i do this a lot but i also hold back just as much as
i speak out so i guess i'm not really one to say what is
right and what is wrong. when i started this journal i
was questioning what love really was and i'm still
questioning it and what it stands for, if anything i'm
starting to question it more than ever just beacause of
everything that has happened. so maybe love has crossed
my path and i haven't realized it but i wish it was easier
to realize i guess cause i wouldn't know what it is. and
maybe i'm just destined to be by myself for a while, i
mean there will always be strippers and a liquor store. i
just hope i'm not one of those persons that 50 years from
now regret not going from something. thats if i make it
50 years from now, sometimes i doubt that i will, a friend
of mine says all the greats die young, and i would like to
think of myself someday as a great so if i die young i
want to accomplish everything that i possibly can no
matter how crazy it may seem, like i want to be a
smokejumper, an alaskan fisherman if only for a day.

i think i get tattoo's as a way of expressing not only
msyelf but how i feel. for me i want my tattoo's to be
like a map of my life and have each tattoo desribe a
certain point in my life, like 10 years from now i want to
be able to point to one and be like that was so and so and
i got it at so and so and have it tell a story about my
life at that point.

hugs and kisses and bedtime wishes

i saw you at your worst
i saw you at your best




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