daily self deceptions...
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2005-03-29 02:50:51 (UTC)

And time goes on

So it's been approximately a month since I wrote.
Don't see much of the *BF* at all. He works a lot. He
calls me everyday and says Hi. And yes thats about the
extent of the conversation. "Hello, how are you.. talk to
you later." Daily.. that's all that happens. We actually
went out and I invited my parents to come with us and it
was a decent evening. I was sitting in the car and looked
over at him and realized he really is just adorable. I take
him for granted. Obviously.
Dirty has been very busy lately and it made me very sad.
He had much to do and no time really for us to talk, but he
made it a point to remind me last evening that even tho he
couldn't talk, he called me everyday and told me he loved
me. Which he did. I take him for granted as well. I miss
him like crazy when I don't get to talk to him. But this
week should start things back to normal again. Semi normal.
If you can call anything normal anymore.
Dirty reminded me that we're supposed to be getting
together in a lil over 8 weeks. How time flys. It's
exciting. I lose my breath everytime he brings it up.
Mostly out of fear. He loves me, but he doesn't know who I
am. He knows 98% though, and thats a lot in itself.
Before I forget, I want to thank the people who have left
me messages. I truly and extremely appreciate all the
advice and words. It's so good to hear others opinions. I'm
far from perfect.. and I know a lot of people reading this
think to themselves how self absorbed I am.. how I'm
hurting people. But I'm just being honest with myself.
Maybe people can make me see things in a different light,
ya know?

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