Where is the Love?
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Saturday, March 26, 2005--Hard to Let Go
i am struggling again with my matters of the heart. i have
not contacted the man i love since monday. that was an
email and he returned it with a very brief phone call. that
was it. i decided to let it go. obviously, OMD was not
interested. then, he emailed me last nite. enough to make
my heart just palpitate with joy............help me God.
i know i love him. i feel it so strongly. i miss him sooooo
much. and he just doesn't know...and most probably, doesn't
really care. he prob just missed the attention i poured all
over him. it is like syrup, so sweet, but sticky,
i signed up for online personals. hmmm just thought i'd try
something different and also to get my mind off OMD. it is
so hard. i feel like crying right now, becuz i miss him so
bad. i fight the feelings everyday. and until someone else
takes his place, this is how it goes for me.
i did meet someone online. he seems really cool and he's
cute, too. he wants to hang out tonite. i am a little
worried and want to meet him in a public place and follow
my instincts. he wants me to go to his house. that
frightens me. i don't know him. u no? freaky.
we IM'd yesterday--big -ol' flirtfest! it was so much fun.
i emailed him with my concerns so i am waiting for a reply.
he is going to call me, so he says, this evening re: our
plans. should be an interesting nite.
however, if OMD calls or writes, i would much rather be
with him. he is my soul connection. i feel it, i know it,
and i kick myself in the ass everytime i think about it. :%
i love him (omd aka sp)