doverwood

Someone to Talk To...
2005-03-26 01:49:44 (UTC)

Starting my Diary...

So the reason i'm starting this diary is because, well,
basically i'm lonely. don't get me wrong - i have a full
life - job, kids, spouse, house, the whole nine yards...
but my kids are getting older, my husband is going thru
some stuff, and i've got very few people to talk to. oh,
sure, i've got friends, and many would be happy to listen -
but i feel like such a drag-whiner! i do have a lot,
lots more than others - i have my health, a home and
wonderful children - what reason do i have to complain?

my oldest is going away to college in a few months - he's
making his selections in the next week or so - he's been
accepted to all three he applied to. that's great! and i
fully support is moving on to a residence in college - i
know he'll grow and learn and mature. and i'm sure it's
going to just kill me to have him away for weeks on end -
i really will miss him a lot (tearing up already...)

my younger is great too, beautiful, smart and savvy - and
she's got this great new boyfriend who monopolizes her all
the time. i'm working hard not to be jealous - but again,
i miss her alot. we watch gilmour girls every wednesday
together and i guess i really identify with that show -
she's rory, and i'm lorilei.

my husband is very steady, loyal and faithful - for almost
20 years now, and i do love him more than anything. but
he's going thru this mid-life stuff - anxiety attacks,
hypochondria, obsessive about being RIGHT about everything
(oh wait, that's 'cause he's a GUY!) and is bascially
being a drag about everything. Everyday he comes home from
work threatening to quit and upset our lives. it's really
very annoying. he asks for advise and then dismisses it as
unwelcome and inappropriate. i've learned to stop reacting
to every little thing he whines about - it's exhausting
me!

The house needs some work - not a ton, but enough that
it's distracting. none of it's very big, mostly do it
yourself kind of stuff - but DH is really unable to help.
a) he's mechanically inept, b) he has to be RIGHT about
everything and c) he's usually too exhausted or lazy to
help. so i feel a great deal of pressure to get it done
myself, and a failure when i don't. this is dragging me
down big time. there are so many jobs to do around here,
i'm paralyzed with which to start with first, so i start
none of them. even everyday chores like dishes,laundry,
etc. is becoming overwhelming

more l8r




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