a~fuct~up~kid

It's seems I am a believer
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2005-03-25 18:03:54 (UTC)

We meet again

Well, once again, I forgot I had this journal and just got
the reminder. I guess there's not much going on, except its
spring break.

My love life is....non-exsistent. Dead. Well, maybe not
dead, but certainly in a deep coma. It's sad, pathetic, and
well...that's it. I guess I really don't care. I'm too hung
over to care. Too...blank to care too. I feel so empty, and
like I said, I don't care and that just makes me feel emptier.

Ryan started talking to again. It's weird: I don't hate him
like I did before. Is this some new found maturity or just
the emptyness? I wish it was maturity so I could throw that
in his face. (He broke up with me cause he said I was too
immature) I guess I kinda am immature. I mean, would a
mature person devote an entire journal to their love life? I
didn't even intend to do that with this journal! It just
happen. Is that really all that's on my mind? God I hope not.

I read all my old entries and wow. I was pressed. A hopless,
poor, little bitch, blind to what the world was really like.
Glad that's over. I see things now, not just seeing them in
a different perspective, but seeing things I never saw
before. That makes since to me but I'm sure normal people
would think I'm crazy.

I still wish I had a boyfriend though. Someone to talk to in
that way. Someone to hug, lay with, kiss...I haven't been
kissed in forever. I mean really kissed. Where its soft at
first but it gets sweeter and you're so nervous and you
start hearing music or fireworks or something corny like
that. I want that corny kiss :(

Peace mad love and all that crap,
a~fuct~up~kid

final though: A toast to those who wish us well, and those
who don't can go to hell!


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