NotSoSadSadie

The Laughter Inside My Mind
2005-03-25 16:07:37 (UTC)

it's going to be a GREAT weekend,I can feel it in my bones..

I haven't written for two dayz,damn cold and flu got me
down,Going out of town for the Easter weekend with my two
son's and younger sister,it should be a relaxing weekend,no
stresses to think about while i'm there(well let's hope
it'll be that way)
Soon to be ex might be down the same way i am,his mommmy
lives about an hour from my aunt,funny if i ran into him
this weekend..NOT...i'd wanna bash his lights outs..
Put my dress,veil and tiera on ebay,let's keep our fingers
crossed that they'll sell..anyone would be crazy not to buy
them.i just can't stand the sight of those things in my
house any longer,they make me think of him,i wanted to
start my dress on fire and throw it on his car,but then i
thought,NAH;my dress is too good for that...
Oh lord i really need to start my therapy sessions soon,my
meds make my moods awful,there might be one whole day out
of the week where i feel"happy",then the rest i feel
sad,confused,scared,angry..sheesh,how can one person hold
all these things in their mind and still function?
I had a dream that i was that terri lady..now tell me
that's not scary,she's alive in there i can feel it,she
wants to reach out and say,I DON'T WANT TO DIE,well at
least in my dream she did,she(I)reached my hand up and
said"help me,I don't want to die"
Now i know i'm really losing it,or it could be because i
watch msnbc all the damn time...Who knows..
Today we're going to try to think positive thoughts all
day,well at least most of the day,maybe once we're on the
road and i'm not cramped up here in the house feeling like
a prisoner,it'll be ok...
Has anyone else felt their soul hurt?
Mine cries out alot,and it scares me....WOW,i'm weird i bet
you think?
It's ok,everyone is entitled to their own opinion...
I MUST keep my head above the water,i don't want to drown
today..I think getting out of town this weekend is my life
preserver...

I hope everyone has a Wonderful weekend..Happy Easter to
all.
With all my Love,
Sadie




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