ruby tuesday

pseudo whimical wild child riot grrl
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2005-03-25 04:37:56 (UTC)

continued...my crappy story

and of those cute guys...mark was in it...he went out with
my friend whitney, then tara, then shelby, then
elizabeth..like all the girls i hung out with...mark would
always call me .... (its too close to my heart to disclose
lol) and when i'd go down the hall he's want me to slap his
hand...give him a high five...of course by 7th grade i had
already developed kind of a crush on him..so of course i
would never want to slap his hand or talk to him...being
the stupid tease i am...this is all very childish i
know...even the story is, but its my history so deal with
it...so anyways, there are times when i kinda though that
maybe he liked me too...which psyched me up, but then he'd
date a girl that i was friends with and it'd break my
little 13 year old heart lol...so i have all these memories
like when we were in gym and i was talking to my friend
amanda and mark and some other kid comes up to me and he's
like hey we have the same last name now! and i'm like what
ru talking about? then he shows me the name tag on his gym
shorts and it says my last name.. (in gym we all had our
last names on this little white tag on our shirts and
shorts) he said he found it in the lost and found pile...i
was horrified because i has lost my gym shorts way back in
the beginning of the year, and i thought that maybe they
were mine! lol...but after 7th grade i never saw him, and
never talked to him so i pretty much drifted away...then my
sister says that she's in spanish class with mark...i'm
like whatever...(this is a time when i was trying really
hard to be the girly girl who actually liekd guys) really,
i think i was coming to terms with prefering girls, but
then i just couldn't shake this whole mark thing...i then
decieded to just ignore it, and ignore him. so i went out
with guys i didn't give a shit about, tried my hardest to
be straight...it was pretty easy to pretend, and i could
just convince myself that i was a lesbian, and could be a
lesbian when i get older...it was easy to call myself
really a lesbian because i was ignore my infatuation with
mark...then fast forward to 10th grade...i am back friends
with shelby who i hadn't really seen since 6th grade, and
then i see mark like all the time in the halls and stuff,
and this little flicker of something i had been avoiding
just kinda took power...i mean i saw him one time and like
our eyes met and i just was like SHIT! all these years of
avoiding him and trying to just focus on girls just kinda
flew away...we never talked but would always smile at
eachother...then i talk to this kid i've also known since
elememtary school, austin, and i causally metion something
about him because i hadn't seen him in a while...he was
marks really good friend and he was like jenn, didn't you
know mark's in military school....fuck. continued


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