Celebelly

24-3-2005 Me again!

Drat... Can someone tell me if god excists?Because I am
just wondering... Why am I living a life I do not want to?
Why did he create me, when at the moment I just want to
have a cave and die in peace. Life is fucked up man...

Am having anoth mood again, it is just no fun anymore. I
am dead-tired and just can't think anymore.
Are there any persons who do give a crap about me? Or is
it always the selfish thing.

I am like putting the horses outside every freaking day,
and never get any thanks for it, I work on there horses
but it is all normal... I AM NOT GETTING PAYED FOR IT, SO
A LITTLE THANKS WOULD BE APPRECIATED... -.-'

Hanne, who seems to do give a crap, and who I like as a
great friend, and I made a 2 and a half hour trip on our
horses.
She on Harmke, me on Tristan. We visited our houses, and
my old school and it was just funny how these horses react
on each other. So that was the only good part of today,
Hanne and i had loads of fun.
But it did exhaust me and dad is acting like shit again.
As usual... Maybe he is right, maybe I am a lousy person,
maybe I shouldn't have been born.
All my life I have had this feeling that I don't belong
with my family, I just don't fit in there. And if I am
family of them, I must have been a mistake... Anyways I am
going to quit for now, because I don't want to bore you
guys!!!!
~Celebelly~