Kelly's Fabulous Life
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2005-03-24 18:30:16 (UTC)

He's Just Not That Into You...If He's Married (to someone else)

Yeah, my book is frowning upon that pretty big time. I
know that this guy is gonna break my heart. I can't tell
me family that he's married because of course they would
never approve. Yet, if I start talking about him too much
and give them the impression that we really like each
other, then they'll want to meet him. I don't want to put
him in a position where he has to lie to them either. You
never know where we could end up in the future. He's so
the perfect guy for me. He's in the process of buying a HI how awesome! I could move to some podunk town
and run the stupid bar. I think I could be happy being a
country girl...Susie is. I'm soooo getting ahead of
myself but I can't help it. I know all of this is going
to end in heartbreak for me, but I just can't stop
myself. Plus, I think if nothing else we could have an
amazing summer hanging out. He was telling me that he's
going to be taking lots of weekends off this summer to go
boat'in (which he already has said I will definately be a
part of). Plus, he's going to be working more often than
ever in the Columbus store which means that he's closer to
me. I think, he thinks, that I think Norfolk is too far
away. What he doesn't know is that I'd drive across the
US for him. Who cares? It's just a roadtrip, and if
that's the only way we can see each other, then I'd do
it! He told me that he could smell me on him all the way
to Missouri and he was sad after he took a shower and
couldn't smell me anymore. God, he's so sweet. The texts
he sends me just send my heart racing. Sometimes, I even
save them so I can re-read them. Pathetic? Um, yes I
know. He was kill'in me this morning when he said that he
was almost going to spend Easter in Lincoln but now he's
not. I was like UM YEAH HI, I"LL BE IN LINCOLN! I don't
know if I'm cut out for this long distance shit, and on
top of that I have to try to stay sort of nonchalant so I
don't freak him out. My plan is to be as irresistable as
possible, so he'll have to be the one to crack. Admit,
that he wants me so bad that he'll do anything to be with
me. And put a fire under his ass on this divorce thing so
he's free to be with me. We've decided that we are going
to be "Special Friends". I'm sure anyone could guess what
that means. I told him though, that I would not be
treated like some kind of ho. I think he was almost
offended that I even said that. I'm his only Special
Friend, or at least that's what he says. I'll, of course
tell him that he's my only Special Friend. Will he be?
Probably not, I mean that would be a really easy way to
get hurt. I have to be open to meeting new guys, as much
as I don't care about that right now. It's super possible
that he will never leave his wife, will never want to
commit to me, will never want to get married again to
anybody. Those are all things that I want in my life, and
I'm not gett'in any younger. We'll about for now
just have'in my first KICK ASS SINGLE SUMMER! In three
years!!! Lot's of boat'in, drink'in, boys!!! wooHoo!

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