Where is the Love?
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2005-03-24 17:55:24 (UTC)

Thursday, 03-24-05---Let the Music Play

I am sitting here surfing, listening to Shannon's "Let the
Music Play"--one of my 80's faves. Anyways, I have decided
to let go of my hopeless infatuation with the guy I am
crushing on. It is ridiculous already. I know what I have
to do, detach, but I still feel that thick, yucky, nauseous
feeling in my gut. Hope my 150 mg daily Zoloft mood lifter
helps that. I am strongly considering going dancing tonite
to get an ego boost and vent my frustrations. Fake names
and numbers I will give. I know club guys only want sex.

Sex....haven't had any since late September 2004. :( I am
frustrated, but I tend to get emotionally attached to
quickly. I have been tempted to go out and find
meaningless, albeit, safe sex to satisfy my hunger for it;
but, I really want the real thing. You know? Why can't I
have it. I am a confident, beautiful, smart girl. I want a
man who will see ME as his soul mate. Instead of me getting
that feeling. I almost am convinced that I will die alone.
Maybe, who knows? So is anonymous sex the answer. I am not
the only one who thinks that way. Some other women have
said the same thing.

Yesterday, I paid $125 to get my hair cut, colored, and
highlighted. I wanted a chestnut brown with gold
highlights. I got orange blonde with gold highlights. I
already called my stylist and left a message to see if she
could tone it down to a golden brown kind of color. She has
not returned my call. ????????????Uh-Oh. I considered going
up to Sally's Beauty Supply and doing it myself. But I
wanted to give her a chance to fix it for me. I will try
calling her again in a few minutes. I guess if she doesn't
respond, I will go to Sally's. I also emailed my old
stylists (we had a slight tiff about a year ago and we
haven't spoken since--some stupid slanderous statements
made by a third party that they obviously believed). I sent
an apology email and asked if they might want to correct my
problem. They are soooooo gifted. I love them and miss

I am going to try and go out tonite. I need it. I deserve
it. I am sexy and hot-----I need to show it off!! TODAY!!:)

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