Love Is a Wonderous Thing
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2005-03-23 07:58:41 (UTC)

Recent shit....and Justin

Let me start with the first problem. My best friend
Cody. I am so in love with the guy that you'd never know I
was dating someone else. And yeah I do love Nate but I
have known Cody for six years now and just recently he
came back into my life. He's always been a good friend but
I have always wanted more. Like that is ever going to
happen. I dont even know what to do about Nate now because
it makes me realize Nate is not THE ONE. I used to think
he was and that we just had some learning to do and some
falls to take before we got there. Not anymore.

So then I am out of my MIND the other night and I go
to see this guy I met on the internet. He's such a hottie
and not only that but his personality turns me on too.
When me and Nate started out it was just a good screw.
Which is all that my friend is but Im starting to think I
was off in getting so close with Nate. If I left him it
would kill us both. I know it would hurt him but Im afraid
of how much it would hurt me. I don't want to hurt that
much. I hate it.

On top of everything else there is this other guy
Justin. I dont think Justin is hitting on me or anything
like that but I want him to. I like this guy a lot. I like
who he is. But I LOVE Nate. I just dont have fun with Nate
anymore. In so lost. Which is why I am yes, yet again,
eating my feelings. And gaining weight again. Life sucks.

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